The Bad Boy Austin Mahone Fantic

32. Just Pretend

"Just Pretend"

Caitlin’s POV

 “Caitlin…I’ve been getting back into music again for the past few months.”

I swallowed hard trying not to look too excited. He turned back around and placed his fingers on some certain keys.

He started playing Human Nature, I could tell right away. Memories of the night we were driving and he started singing. And then he took a deep breath and started to sing.

He sounds even better when I can hear him clearly. The other times he was just mumbling or singing with the radio. This time it was just him. Just his perfect voice filling the room.

He finished and turned around to me with this worried and scared looking face. He then realized I wasn’t saying anything due to shock, so he stood up, walked over, and sat down next to me.

“That was-you’re amazing.” I said still shocked.

“I’m not that good.”

Before I could say anything he reached for his laptop and phone. He turned on his phone and I immediately saw that the background was the same as mine on my phone, the picture Austin set as my background. He then trapped the app twitter. And waited for it to load.

“Do you have a twitter?”

“Ya its Caitlinsparks13.” I answered. He then typed in my name in the search bar and clicked my account. The next thing he clicked was the follow button.

I felt my phone buzzing inside my pocket I pulled it out and my phone was lit up like a Christmas tree, with new twitter notifications.

“Why did that-“

“Look at my profile.” He cut me off. I was now noticing that he does this a lot- cutting me off.

I searched his name AustinMahone, because I had too many notifications to look through and find Austin, for some weird reason he won’t tell me why.

I clicked the account.

“You have 300,000 followers?!” I said with my jaw practically to the floor.

He just chuckled. And started talking and rambling. He spilled out. He told me everything. Every last detail.

-Started singing a few months ago

-Put covers up on YouTube (Of course we spent the next hour watching every cover)

-Doing little Ustreams every week

-And even getting a call from a manager in Miami

“Wow, Austin.” I said when he finished.

“I’m heading to Miami net week. They want me to sing and maybe record a song or two.” He said.

My posture went from slouching, which I always do, to straight up.

“That’s great!” I said and hugged him. He smiled and hugged back.

“But that means I won’t see you for a while.” He said as he released me from the hug.

“Ya, but this is important.” I said.

He stayed quiet for a minute, like he wasn’t telling me something.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” He said so quickly I almost didn’t catch it.

“What?! Why did you tell me sooner?!” I jumped up from the bed.

“I don’t know, we just ‘got back together’ a few hours ago…” He trailed off and I realized he was right.

Is it even possible for someone to fall in love this fast? I actually don’t know if I’m completely in love with him again. I was before, and I got over it that exact night they took me. When I said I loved him it was just in the moment. I don’t think I love him…yet.

Okay, I made up my mind…I’m not in love with him. Love is a powerful thing, and I fell for him once. I got back up just a few days ago and I need to keep myself from falling again. I’m just not ready for this yet.

Were just dating. That doesn’t mean I love him right? I don’t know anymore. I love him, I love him not. I’m confused so I decided to let it slip my mind and think about it later.

Austin’s POV

“How long?” She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

I looked down.

“2 months.” I said bringing my eyes back up to hers.

I’m not sure if she is really happy with me. She seemed like it a few hours ago…but now, it’s a different story. I don’t know she is acting a little different to me. Maybe she is just shocked still.

Was she serious when she said she loved me? She didn’t seem like she really did. It reminded me of that game you play with the pedals of a flower.

She loves me…She loves me not.

“Austin…I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what? I asked taking a step closer to her and grabbed her hand.

She quickly pulled it away. “This.”

I took another step closer, but she stepped back.

“What do you mean?” I asked getting a little angry, but trying not to show it.

She sighed and then just let everything out.

“I can’t be with you if you are going to just leave. I can’t keep falling for you over and over again. I have tried to tell myself not to do it again, but it just keeps happening. I can’t keep dealing with the pain of losing you and trying to get over you. And when I finally did, you came back today and-“

“So when you kissed me and said we were back together, was that real?” I asked.

She shook her head and looked down.

“Then when you said you loved me were you lying?” I was getting angrier but made sure to show no sign of it because she hates it.

“I don’t know. You saved my life and I was just in the moment. But I know that I have to let you go. I can’t keep putting myself through this. Falling for you and then having you break my heart. Falling for you and getting over it. Getting over it and then you fall for me. It’s like an endless cycle. It’s like a maze. And I think I know how to get out. We can’t be together.” She rambled again.

“Caitlin please I-“

“No Austin. I can’t anymore.”

“It’s just a bump in the road. We can fix it.”

“Once there is too many it takes a while to fix. And we are way over ‘too many’.” She said.

She grabbed her bag and opened the door.

“Caitlin…” I said and she turned around with tears in her eyes.

“Bye Mahone…” He voice cracked. She was just about to brake. “I’ll see you in Math.”

And with that she was gone. I’ll see you in Math. She said that to me at the football game I got hurt at.

I just let her go, again. I love her, but she doesn’t feel the same way. That’s the worst feeling in the world to me. And now I’m experiencing it. Watching the person you are in love with tell you it’s over and they don’t love you, makes you want to just fall to the ground and cry.

This time she was serious. We have been down this road before, but this time…it was different. I could just tell she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Nothing. So I’m going to let her be. I’ll leave her alone.

And just after I told her I loved her, and told her about my music.

I just stay quiet about my feelings. I’ll say I don’t like her. I’ll pretend I don’t have a thing for her. I’ll try to let her go. It might not work, but I have to try.

I’ll just pretend I don’t love her.

Just pretend.