Blood on the Sheets; Frerard

Part 6

The blood tree was another safe space of mine. I climbed to the very top and just sat there. Thinking, crying and contemplating whether it would be worth it to just jump off and die. I didn't really care about my family, which is selfish, I know, but I was just so empty and numb that this was probably my only way out. Shit, I still even had this ring that was meant to go on Jamia's finger. What was I meant to do? Sell it? Get money and maybe spend it on methods of self destruction? Seems like the right thing to do.

The only thing I was kind of looking forward to was that 'date' with Gerard, if you could even call it that. He didn't tell me any specific information or anything but I was excited. He just offered it, not giving any times or dates but I figured he will soon. Here I was, sitting high up in a tree, thinking about some nonexistent date with some stranger after my fianceé to be (or not depending on what her answer would have been) left me to go live with a friend of hers. Quite saddening right? I really wanted to move on but I simply couldn't.

I climbed down the tree slowly so that my body would still be in one puece when my feet touhed the dirty ground. I strolled back to the reception, seeing Gerard as usual. His eyes were glued to a newspaper which was really quite old-fashioned, giving me a nice vibe as I walked over to him. He didn't seem to notice me so I rang the little bell that was on his desk. He jumped a bit before his hazel eyes met mine and I felt my insides melt.

"Hello Frankie", he greeted, almost in a singsong tone as he put the paper down carefully, trying not to crumple it.

I usually don't like it when people call me Frankie, as it makes me feel like a child but for some reason he i liked it coming out of his mouth. It sound so hot yet so cute at the same time, making my already melted body melt a bit more, making my legs wobbly.

"Hi, I was wondering about the time you asked if I wanted to, y'know, go somewhere with you. I just wanted to tell you that I'd really like that"

He smiled and I felt my cheeks burning. He seemed to think for a moment before asking me another question.

"How about Saturday at noon? Meet me here and we'll go out for lunch. I'll get Ray to look over the place", he suggested and I felt excitement building up.

"Sure! Its fine by me!", I smiled. Saturday was only two days away and I really had barely anything to wear and I probably smelled like complete shit.

XxX

The air in my room turned warm and steam started to form as I opened the bathroom door. I just had a burning hot shower to melt away any diseases that chose to live on my body for the past day or two. For the first time in forever, I felt clean.

I walked around my room, looking for my suitcase in only a towel which was wrapped loosely around my waist. I eventually found it hiding in the closet and I and no idea how it got there in the first place. I took out one of the only clean shirts I had left. It was black with some band logo which was so faded that I couldn't tell if it was Green Day or Blink-182.

I decided it would be best if I maybe went to the launderette to clean my clothes. I figured I'd do it tomorrow so that I have clean close for the day after.

When I was in the shower, my thoughts turned my positivity about the date into hesitation. What's the point if I'm leaving the day afterwards? I could give him my number, but he doesn't look like the type to even own a phone. Plus, I lived on the other side of the country.

I guess I'd see him when he comes to visit, since we were raised in the same town at around the same time.

The last thing I did before calling it a day amd going to bed that day was check the under side of the bed again.