Told You So

8

John POV

I washed my face off and stared at my reflection. Sherlock didn't know that I confessed to loving him. I don't understand him; he could tell I was from an abusive home but not when someone liked him.

Idiot.

I sighed and leant against the door, trying to regain my composure. I heard giggling on the other side of the door, causing me to peak out.

"Yeah, I heard that the hospital needed some help, and I needed the service hours. So, you are single?"

She was acting wait to flirtatious to be a nurse in training. Sherlock just looked at the girl with a soft smiling. He knew what she was doing. "Yes, I am single. No one wants to date a freak," he answered.

"Oh! Sweetheart! I'd love to date you!"

I blushed and ran to the toilet, flushing it, willing the conversation out of my head. I walked out to see them kissing. I merely nodded at what they were doing before exiting the room, not looking back.

I didn't go back until I was called to discharge him. The woman was always there, flirting until I dragged him into the dorms.

I didn't acknowledge him; I was angry at myself for thinking there was a slight chance he'd like me.

"John? Did I do something wrong?"

I looked up from my homework. It had been a week since I walked in on him getting a girlfriend. He seemed so weak ever since he was discharged like he was waiting on something. I didn't reply to him. I didn't know what to say.

"John?"

I blinked, feeling tears come to my eyes. I was overreacting to something I could not control. I walked out of the room and just ran down the stairs, avoiding people from looking at me until I found somewhere to think about everything.
*******
I managed to avoid Sherlock's pleads for me to talk to him and explain why I was avoiding him. I didn't want to, but I didn't trust myself.

"John!"

I ducked my head and walked away from Sherlock. He jogged over to me and caught up with me before I could go to my class. "What?" I snapped, glaring at him.

"I'm confused. Why are you avoiding me?"

I wouldn't answer. I didn't trust myself enough to answer what he was saying.

"John?"

The way he said my name made me fall apart and cry on his shoulder. I couldn't hold the feelings anymore and just cried every bit of pain away. Sherlock held me there, awkward at the position he was in.

"It's okay, John. It's okay."

"No, it's not. It will never be okay."

Sherlock pulled me back and looked at me. "It will be. Trust me," he muttered. "Let's get you somewhere that you can rest."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I smiled at the way our hands fit together; it might have been the only time that I'd feel this way, ever.

We made it to the dorm, and I sat on my bed, hiding my face in my hands. "John, what's wrong?" He asked gingerly, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Can I have a glass of water?"

"Sure."

I grimaced at what I possibly looked like and just pushed the heel of my hand more into my eye and stopped the tears. "Here you go," Sherlock said, handing the water over.

"Thanks."

Sherlock POV

I looked at John, wishing I knew what I'd done wrong. He had been acting like this since I woke up at the hospital. I had to leave for my parent's house tomorrow, but I wanted to know what I did wrong. I always do something wrong.

"Can I take a nap? I just feel so tired."

"Oh, yeah! Sure!"

John looked at me weirdly before turning on his side and hiding his face behind covers. I flounced on my bed and just thought. Did he see the girl kissing me? I tried to tell her I wasn't into her, but she insisted.

Does he like me?

I shook my head and stared ahead. No one could like me. It was obvious. A ring startled me from my thoughts, causing me to look at my father's number.

"Hello?"

"You're coming tomorrow. Tell your boyfriend!"

He hung up without any other thing to say. I sighed and walked to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the shower, holding onto a tiny razor blade. (Trigger)

No one cares.

A slit of tiny beads of crimson appeared.

No one will notice your absence.

Another slit right underneath it appeared. I felt tears coming.

No one will ever love you. Freak!

I lost control and cut at my arm, feeling so weak. I had failed John. I didn't deserve him as a friend.

"Sherlock?"

I hadn't heard the door open, and I looked up to see John looking at me with worry. I shook my head at him, knowing what he was going to ask me. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Please, you're amazing. I need you in my life. Please, stay for me..."

I leaned my head into his neck and just cried. I couldn't lose my only friend. We stayed there for a while with the halls buzzing about that school was over.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

I merely nodded and walked with him out of the room. We sat on his bed together and turned on some movie. I didn't get into it because I was thinking about whatever it was that was going on with John and me.

The credits started rolling, and I felt something laying on my shoulder: John. I smiled at him and laid my head on his.

This was going to be the closest we'd get to this- being a couple.