Told You So

15

Sherlock POV

John. His name was like a chant playing over and over in my head. He said he'd always love me. I didn't know how to believe him. I was me, a freak, a mistake. I was the last person to be loved. No one would ever want to be near me or love me; I wasn't deserving of love.

When I woke up, I ran to Mycroft's office. I busted through the doors and glared at him. "What classes is John failing?" I asked, not even trying to compose myself.

"Why do you spend so much time with this fellow? Sentimental are we?"

"Tell me what classes he's failing!"

He sighed and handed me a file. "Apparently all except the languages and arts. Though, Mrs. Madeline had to report that he was being a bit...dark on one of his projects. All of his information I thought you'd be willing to learn about is in that file. Now, answer my question."

"What's it matter if I get sentimental? You have no control in my life!"

He smirked at me, clasping his hands in front of his stomach. "Remember Redbeard? Sentiment is horrible. Especially with you brother mine," he hissed; I flinched at Redbeard.

"I was five!"

"And as emotional as ever."

"Shut up!"

Mycroft just waved me off. I walked into the dorm, realising it was schooltime. John was in class or supposed to be at least. I tried to erase the memory of Redbeard in my mind.

I grabbed all the papers John had failed for not turning in and started to work them out on separate sheets of paper. I finished before lunch, adding a note on it before leaving the room. For once, Mycroft was right. I ran from the school grounds and hid myself away from the people's eyes. I needed to get away even if it killed me. John was dangerous to my health.

John POV

I walked into the dorm room, holding a test of sandwiches and various other finger foods. Sherlock wasn't in the room, but papers from my classes were on the desk along with my file. Sherlock was hidden.

I caught sight of the note and looked at it briefly.

Dear John,

I realise that I am a handful and a mess. I wish I could have stayed longer, but Mycroft informed me that it was a mistake. For once in my sixteen years, he was right about something. I need a break, but I fixed all your mistakes and worked everything out so you could graduate. I want you to pass and become the doctor you want to be.

Please, don't remember us. I won't be able to. I have decided to try and forget this. I want to protect you from what I am. Just be yourself and get married, have kids, live a life without me weighing you down.

Sherlock

I closed my eyes, processing the information. It was a damn "Dear John" letter. I had been Dear John-ed! I wanted to scream and shout, but I couldn't. I couldn't scream, shout, or even cry. He wanted me to forget him.

I couldn't. Sherlock Holmes will forever be the biggest arse I know. I will keep his memory with me, and we will die together. I won't lose him, again. I couldn't.

"Damn! I told you everything! And...and now I'm stuck without you. I will never stop loving and remembering you. I need you in my life."

Mycroft and Sherlock were right: sentimentality is a weakness. It will slowly devour your insides and make you wish things that will never happen. You see things and go insane. I stopped caring about life, again. One thing about it: love sucks.

Sherlock POV

I would drop by the school only to get updated on how John was doing. Mycroft was relented to allowing me to know at first, but he saw the evidence against Father. I was living at home, dying slowly.

John was my heartbeat. I would die with him.

A/N: Sorry...I had to. There's a reasoning behind this! You just have to see. Love you my dearies! Also, bonus points and happiness if you catch a reference from last chapter and this one in this A/N. Ciao!