Told You So

13

Sherlock POV

"Why am I here? I'm not crazy."

"Sherlock, having a therapist does not automatically say you are insane. The therapist you're seeing is also mine. Do I have to remind you of my family?"

I huffed and looked away. "You really shouldn't use yourself as an example since we're dating," I said.

"Ah yes! Forgot Love! How could I?"

I rolled my eyes at him as we waited for the receptionist to call me back. I felt so unsteady about all of this.

"Mr. Holmes? Sherlock Holmes?"

I gulped as I stood and wove at the petite girl. She smiled at me then more so at John. He laced our hands together and walked through the door. She sighed and pointed to the scale. "Need your weight," she explained, ignoring the confused looks John and I gave her.

100 pounds.

"He's terribly underweight. When was the last time you ate?"

I looked to John before answering," Wednesday."

"Sherlock! That was six days ago!"

I felt horrible. I wanted out of that drasted place.

"Mr. Holmes? Are you okay?"

I shook my head and ran to the nearest trash him and threw up...well, dry heaved. I felt horrible. John had a hand on my back and rubbed circles.

"It's okay Sherlock. It's going to be okay."

"No, John, it's not. This is who I am; I've always been like this. How can you stand being near me?"

John grabbed one of my hands and smiled. "Same way I can still be shocked to wake up and see you there. I love you for who you are," he replied, rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

"Okay! You guys can go into Dr. Wilson's office when you're ready."

John grabbed my hand and helped me get into the room. "Ah! John! Who's the newbie? You're boyfriend?" The red haired woman asked, looking at me closely.

"Yes, his name is Sherlock Holmes, and he's seventeen years old. Also, your new patient."

I held onto John's hand as she looked at me. "Huh. So why is he in?" She asked. "I highly doubt he wants to explain, so why don't you since you hooked him up for today."

"Basically what I've got."

"Sherlock, I'm going to ask you some questions. Please answer honestly, or I will make sure John is not free after school a lot."

I grunted at her as she asked basic questions. Always a yes or no and nothing to it. Until she asked if I had been sexually assaulted.

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Yes. John can step out if you want him to."

I looked at John. He didn't need to know how pathetic I was. I held on tightly to his hand. He smiled softly at me.

"No, he stays. I have been sexually assaulted by my father, a boy, and a girl."

"How old were you?"

I took a look at John before replying," Since I was four my father abused me and used me to get rid of his pleasures saying that's how sex feels. Just four months ago, a girl made passed at me, and when she found a chance, she drugged me and had sex with me. Three months ago, I was kidnapped and tortured by a psycho that soon raped me."

"Oh my gosh. I'm sorry to hear that."

I ignored the therapist's sympathies and looked at John. He seemed so broken as he kept our hands locked together.

"Have you tried to kill yourself?"

"Ever since I was in third grade I wanted to be dead since no one cares about me. I started trying when I was in the fifth grade. I was sent away for a few weeks before being dragged out by my brother saying I was overreacting and being dramatic."

The therapist nodded before looking at John. "I think it would be best to conclude this session. How about I see you guys next week? Same time?" She said. We nodded, hurrying to leave.

John pushed me up against a secluded wall and just kissed me. His knee went in between my legs while he kept on kissing me. "Sherlock, I'm so sorry; you could've told me. I, God, I love you so much," he rasped during our kiss. I just grabbed a handful of his shirt and kept kissing.

One of his hands found its way into my hair while the other stayed at my chest. I felt his lust in the kiss, and I wanted to quench it. I really did want to, but I couldn't. I wished that I hadn't been raised to hate sex and be scared of anything normal couples do. I pulled away and hit the back of my head on the wall. John looked at me confused before taking note in our positions.

"Oh God! I'm- I didn't mean to! Ugh! I'm such a needy bastard!"

"No. I just, I'm not really ready for that."

John just laid his head on my shoulder. "I realise, but I keep having to... Nevermind," he muttered into my neck. "Let's go back. Watch a movie or something."

I nodded and walked to the curb, catching a taxi. The ride was unbearably awkward and silent. I wanted to talk to John and tell him that there wasn't anything wrong, but he wouldn't acknowledge me, only wave his hand dismissively in the air and stare out the window.

We made our way to the dorm room and settled on my bed to watch telly. I sat by John and watched him from the corner of my eye. He wasn't watching the movie like usual; he was thinking. I sighed and leaned over, laying my head on his lap with a shocked gasp escape John's lips.

"Sherlock?"

I looked up and smiled at him. He was completely shocked at my sudden move. "What? You don't like this? I wasn't going to; you seemed so in thought..." I would've kept talking if he hadn't have put his hand up.

"Sherlock! It's a shock. I didn't expect this out of you. That's all."

I smiled softly and turned my attention back to the telly.

John POV

I looked down at Sherlock, seeing that he had fallen asleep and smiled. He seemed so at peace when he was asleep like nothing was going to harm him, but he, also, looked younger and more vulnerable. I wanted to stay by his side and protect him, but I didn't know that I couldn't. It would be near impossible to keep up with Sherlock Holmes.

So, instead, I just turned the telly off and covered Sherlock up as I climbed into the beside him, pulling him close. I would not let go of him.