Hear Me, Josh (Joshler) **COMPLETED**

12. Lovely .

(Josh POV)

Tonight, I gave Tyler his book with all of his songs. He was so happy that he literally flew into my arms. It was so sudden, but I loved every second of it. He was just so, lovely. He was in his own little world. And he was happy. He was singing his own song, and even played it to his piano. He was just so perfect. I knew he was nervous but, he just did so well. And i'm proud of him. I told him how much I liked it, and he blushed. I have a feeling that he has something for me, an I think I may have something for him too. I am constantly happy when he's around, its something special. He's something special. Tyler is getting ready to go to bed, and I have this burning feeling in my chest, the feeling of need. The feeling of want. I want to tell Tyler how I feel. But I can't. I don't know how.. I say goodnight to Tyler, as he goes off to bed.

I have never once in my life questioned my sexuality. An I never thought that I actually, you know, would. But here I am, sitting in my living room of an apartment that I own with my bestfriend. It's something that I obviously never imagined in my life, I never imagined being this close to Tyler either. Tyler freakin' Joseph. The boy who I had only partnered up with once in school because I HAD too, now shares a home with me. And I sit an think to myself some more, about how much purpose this boy has in my life. He is my world. He is a lot to me. I think I love him. I really do. 

I get up to bring the last of the dishes to our kitchen sink, admiring how our home looks. I sigh in relief, and walk towards our bedroom. I walk in quietly, pulling off my shirt an throwing it into the basket next to the door. I look over an I see Tyler fast asleep. He's cuddling a pillow an taking up most of the blankets. But I love him, I mean, I think I do. So he can have as much of the blankets as he wants. I get into bed as carefully as I can. I look over and laugh to myself. 

He's so small. Like a bean.  It's literally 3:00am and I'm making jokes with myself. I lay down next to Tyler and listen to him breathe as he sleeps. He's so perfect. He's safe. He's here with me.

3:00am

.

4:00am

.

4:47am

.

I wake up to the sound of screaming.  I look around, not being able to figure out where the screaming is coming from. Then, I notice Tyler isn't next to me. I get up and search the house, only to find out he locked himself in the bathroom. All I heard is his yelling an screaming, noticing him crying inbetween breaths. I heard banging and I automatically panic. I run over to the door and try to move the handle, that hopefully would unlock if I moved it the right way.

"Tyler? Tyler what's wrong?" I get no answer, I only heard more and more yelling and banging.

"Tyler please let me in I can help you, please. I'm here Tyler! I'm here just let me in."

Tyler still doesn't let me in. His yelling and screaming deteriorates, to soft occasional whines, and I hear him slide down the wall to the floor. I can hear him crying. He says something every now an then that I haven't heard him speak of in a very long time.

"Blurryface. Please just please go away. Go away and leave me alone! Leave me alone, I want to be wish Josh. Leave me please, find someone else just please. Leave. Me. Alone!"

He bangs on the wall which causes me to jump.

I manage to find one of his pens, and I take it apart to unlock the door. I open it slowly to see Tyler on the floor, his head in his hands, tears running down his face. I see that he had found a razor, somewhere. I have no idea where, but I don't see any blood. Thankfully. I see his medication bottles, still filled with the same amount of pills, but the top was off. He must of had the sink running to run water over his face because there was two handprints on the mirror. I sit down beside him and see him staring at the razor in his hands. I look up at him, explaining that I am going to take it away. He nods and loosens his grip. I flush it down the toilet, and cover his medications back up. I sit on the floor next to him, and put my arm around him.

"He came back, didn't he?." 

Tyler nods his head slowly, putting his head against my neck, crying once again.

"Do you want to talk about it?.." 

He shakes his head no. We end up sitting on the floor for a short while. I run my fingers along his back, repeatedly telling him everything will be okay. He sniffles, but no more tears which is good. After time passes he lifts his head and looks at me.

"He told me that you wouldn't want me here much longer. He told me you won't love me. He told me that I was better off gone. I heard these voices telling me what to do. I couldn't say no to Blurryface, I was scared. I was scared Josh."

I nod my head, looking back at him. I look at his hands, seeing that they're red from him punching he wall. I rub my thumb over his knuckles, and press my lips to them. I notice a smile a cross his face, but it doesn't last too long.

"Tyler, you will be okay, alright?.. No matter how long it takes. I'll always be here for you. No matter what Blurryface thinks or says, I will always be here. I promised once, and i'll promise again."

He looks at me and smiles, giving me a"real Tyler smile" as I like to call them. 

"You didn't hurt yourself, right Ty?."

He hears me call him a different name this time and blushes. He shakes his head no.

I decide that it's time to go back to bed, considering Tyler probably made himself tired. I pick him up and carry him to our bed. I lay him down, pull the covers over him, and wipe a tear from his eye.

I go to my side of the bed and get in next to him. I wrap my arm around Tyler, and pull him close to me. He turns around so his chest is against mine. I can feel his hot breath against my chest as he falls slowly back to sleep. I rub circles on his back with my fingers. I look back down at the small boy, seeing him snuggled against me. 

I sigh. I assume he is sleeping, and I press my lips to the top of his head.

"I love you, Tyler."

I close my eyes ready to go to sleep, when Tyler moves in closer to me.

"I love you, Joshua."