We're Just Friends (Frank Iero)

10.

I stormed into school and threw my bag down on the desk in Math class. I had been trying to calm down for the whole of last night, but it didn't seem to be working, no matter how hard I tried. Poppy was leaving, either to Chicago or to Dallas. It didn't matter which one, the fact of the matter was that she wouldn't be living in the house opposite mine anymore. I wouldn't get to look at her from my bedroom window and feel calm knowing that she was safe when I saw her dancing around her room late at night or studying at her desk. I wouldn't get to climb up into her bedroom window at night and spoon her, declaring that we were just friends but secretly wanting so much more. Well, I guess that wasn't a secret anymore, but we hadn't discussed it since the recent news of her having to move away came about.

I had no idea when she would be leaving, how long we had left together or the possiblity for her to stay...somehow. I had already begged my mom to let her stay with us, but she had reluctantly said no due to the fact that we just didn't have enough money for her to support another child. I understood, because I could tell how much she didn't want to say no, and she could tell how upset I was. I never really let on much emotion to my mother, but last night she had seen me cry.

A lot.

I buried my head into my Math book and tried my hardest to focus on the work, but the numbers all seemed to blur together and made no sense anymore, despite how hard I had been studying. I couldn't focus my mind on anything except for Poppy.

"Frankie."

I looked to my left, following the sound of her beautifully soft voice and saw my Poppy sat next to me. She looked...exhausted. Her bright red hair was messy and tied up in a ponytail, her make-up minimal and her eyes red and puffy. I looked at her and I felt two completely contrasting emotions; heartbreak and misery at the sight of her looking so unhappy and at the same time completeness. warmth and an overwhelming happiness.

"How are you?" I asked, before immediately regretting asking her such a stupid question. It was obvious how she was. She was miserable. We sat in silence for the entire class, attempting to focus on the teacher and trying to make sense of the Math problems he was throwing at us. Every so often my eyes would glance over to her and I could see that she was attempting to concentrate, but her hands were shaking violently as she tried to scribble down notes in her book and an occasional tear would fall from her eyes and land on her book, smudging the ink and causing her to look even more upset and frustrated.

After class was over, I knew we had to part ways due to having different classes. She took a German language class while I took a music class. We walked out of Math class in silence and I waved goodbye to her, before turning and beginning to walk away, but the image of her staring at me as if she needed me kept replaying in my mind and I quicky turned around and walked her outside, insisting that we both skip class until I could somehow find a way to stop her from crying, at least for the rest of the day. We aimlessly walked in silence around our school field until we were right at the back. At the back of the field there was a huge oak tree, which was surrounding by a thin wall made of stone. When we had first started high school, she and I used to come here to play in secret, as one of our school rules was that girls were never allowed to hang out alone with boys, for some weird fucking reason. We would get shouted at every lunch break for wanting to play together, just the two of us, and eventually we found this place where we could hide and hang out together in every free moment that we had. We walked around the back of the tree where we used to sit together, and she stood and smiled at the trunk, which had engraved in it "P and F 2004."

I stared at the markings on the tree and a weak smile began to form on my mouth. In the distance, I thought  I heard something so I briefly turned my head to the left, when all of a sudden I felt Poppy's hand grab my face and turn it back to face her. Before I knew what was going on I felt her lips crashing against mine with such force that I nearly fell backwards. My entire body froze up momentarily as I tried to make sense of what I was feeling but after only a few seconds I realized what was happening and I lost control of my entire body. My hands cupped her face and pulled her in closer so that I could kiss her as hard as I possibly could, before straying down to her hips, allowing me to pull her body towards me. I kissed her like I had always imagined kissing her; it was a kiss that meant something. It was nothing like kissing any of the girlfriends I had ever had; those were kisses that happened because they were expected of me as a boyfriend. This was a kiss that I had been imagining for the past ten years of my life. She was kissing me just as forcefully as I had kissed her, with such intensity that I felt almost dizzy thinking about it. Her hands had also strayed down away from my face and she was tugging on the front of my jeans, making me both incredibly nervous and unbelievably aroused. After what seemed like only seconds but was probably more like minutes, she pulled her lips away from mine but kept them close to mine, breathing deeply as she rested her head against mine. Her eyes remained closed the entire time.

"We are not just friends Frank Iero," she said quietly. "We've never been just friends. We both always knew that."