Too Far Gone

Chapter 11

I couldn't feel anything, but the speeding beats of my shattering heart.

There was nothing but a blank slate when I closed my eyes, thought. Clear as the summer day sky and spring night. Only this was only as pleasant as reliving the Dragon's fire once again.

Nothing came.

"Think, Dwarf." Avalinn interrupted my blank, traumatizing thoughts.

"This is unacceptable! You, clearly do not possess correction! For this is entirely false! I believe you've lost your mind!" I barked at the still smirking Elves.

"What do you see?" Legolas came in tauntingly. "Your parents?" He begun to circle Thorin and I.

Thorin was agitated. His eyebrows nearly covered his eyes from the intense look he gave them. His eyes kept on Legolas as he continued to taunt my blank mind.

"Your companions?" Avalinn continued.

"Or even the ones you loved, but disregarded the feeling. Now, you're incapable of it."

What used to be my conscience, thoughts, experiences, emotions, memories, gone. Gone along with everything I had left.

An empty feeling arose.

There was nothing.

They watched as my memories did not return to my swirling head.

They watched it drive me mad. I knew their Elf eyes could see it. They watched arrogantly as I tried spastically in my mind to recoil memories.

My mind, my uninhabited mind, couldn't process it. I remained still, still in the trance of shock. Not letting me move, it grounded my translucent mind into tinier, shattering pieces.

Thorin's patience with the snide Elves worn down after they began taunting me again.

"Let's go." He firmly raised his voice.

He walked past me powerfully and gave me a strong nudge to push me from my still stance.

"Sigim Rukhs." I snarled before turning away from the two Elves.

We began striding back towards the lit up city.

"It will seize your heart And drive you mad." Legolas taunted slowly. "There is no need for our help."

He muttered what I believed to be an Elvish curse.

I walked, but I did not think of it; it was automatic, my feet hit the ground step by step beside Thorin. But it did not overpower the thoughts I had, and didn't have, anymore.

Thorin remained silent, stopping himself from snapping.

He walked in front of me, as if he did not want the sight of me.

~

After the paining walk back towards the house of Bain, Thorin entered and immediately proceeded back to the room we slept.

I remained outside on the steps, they faced out towards the path through the city. A small marketplace, with little shops stood empty in the night. Most lights had gone out and I was left in nearly complete darkness.

More emptiness filled me as I tried to drain my sorrows in the night, throwing my gaze upon the stars. It proved ineffective as the feeling stirred in my abdomen.

What had I lost?

I could never know.

And it did, in fact, drive me mad.

~

Later on in the night, I was back in the room. It was dark.

I could not close my eyes to sleep. It only reminded me of the blank slate in which my mind had become.