9/11♡

psyche

Leo

You know those moments when you're just so physically and mentally tired and you finally have time to nap, and as soon as you close your eyes you start dreaming? Like, about weird shit?

Thats what I felt like walking around today.

I don't know if it was all the chemicals I was breathing in or just the shear panic and chaos in such a short amount of time, but none of it felt real.

The hospital is so full that they have the people in gurnies lined in the hallways.

Luckily I got a room split in half by a curtain, but I have no idea who is on the other side or how bad they are, and I don't even know how bad I am honestly.

The doctors are hella busy so I've just been chillin.

So I was just laying down in the bed looking around the room and listening to the people outside my room.

You know, when you're asleep, theres something in you that keeps you alive while you're sleeping. I'm not sure if its your heart or your brain or something along the lines of that, but something keeps your heart going and your mind active.

So as I start to float a little deeper into my sleepiness, whatever that thing that kept me alive is, stopped working when I closed my eyes.

I heard that loud, long beep on the monitor next to me.

Yes, okay, I'm dead, we get it, now shut the fuck up. I thought to myself.

I felt a floaty feeling in my head, then in my legs and arms, and finally in my chest.

Lol okay but like, wheres the light? Wheres Jesus or God or whoever?

I sat up in the bed and looked around.

So no one is gonna come and get me?

I lift up my hands and laugh to myself. So the movies and books are true. Sick.

My spirit seperated from my body and I stood up on the floor.

Its really trippy, seeing yourself from your point of view.

My double chin really isnt that noticable. My roots actually look hella great. My skin is clearing up, just like Michael said.

I walk around the room for a second.

Its like I weigh nothing. Absolutely nothing. My footsteps dont make a sound, my hair doesnt move as I walk, I don't feel the need to blink or breathe. I just feel really cold, like I'm naked.

Most of all, I feel really relaxed. No anxious feeling in my stomach, no need to constantely pick at my fingers or fix my hair or pull up my jeans.

Free.

My machine stopped bonging and beeping finally, so I decided that my body would be fine and I could go explore what was going on outside.

I instantely thought about Jenna, and all of a sudden, I was standing by a police line, next to Michael and Tyler talking to a police officer about Josh, Ashton, and Logan.

Jenna is also standing by Tyler.

"Jenna?" I try and call to her, but nothing comes out, instead, Michael rubs his chest.

"Jenna can you hear me?" I try and speak again, Michael rubs his chest again.

"Baby I'm here! I'm right here and I'm okay!" I try and tell him. I can feel that hes stressed and worried. I place my hand on his shoulders and try to shake him, but he doesn't move with my movement.