Serenity.

S I X• B E T R A Y E D

I used to stare at the rain imprinted on the windows and use it for my entertainment. Pretending I was a sad girl from the very little glimpse I had of music videos. A sad girl that expressively begged to be rescued. Singing to the skies, singing to the rain.

Ironically, I am now the sad girl of my own video.

I just don't want to be rescued.

I stared back at the park bench debating whether or not to head back to the situation waiting behind me in the form of a tall brooding male. I abruptly turn around, walking away with my head faced downwards, hanging in a limp state of confusion.

I knew it would be me. I knew I would be the author of my own destruction. I stumbled away, getting closer to the fire that would end up burning me.

That would burn my soul.

Before I had realised my footsteps had glided along the earth until I had reached Adams house. Completely dismissing his presence I ran up the stairs and mindlessly chucked my small body unto the bed that was made for Kings and Queens. That was made for far more than a girl with a dead mother and enough anger within her to light earth on fire.

There was a hollow and deep space inside of me, and although I was aware of the common use of the phrase, I was sure that I was broken.

They type of broken that not even bob the builder could fix, and I had no idea what to do about it.

There's an active darkness inside of me. What was once a dormant essence has now transformed into an unstoppable force.

My body was still against the foreign fabric which the comforter of the bed was composed of.

My body was so still, and then I stopped. I stopped breathing as my fingers formed a tight grip on my nose and also clamped my lips together to prevent the inhaling of oxygen. And then I couldn't keep holding my breath anymore and I was immediately left desperately ushering the oxygen into my lungs with forceful coughs racking my body.

It was those moments in which I could feel the oxygen evacuating from my body, that I felt close to death, and yet at the brink of life.

Not breathing was my oxygen. Death was my life line. It was all more backwards than I had ever thought.

And with that daunting realisation, my eyes became visually immune to my surroundings as they retreated and shut.

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I awoke to the painful jolt composed by large hands vigorously shaking my shoulders resulting in some inhumane noises to slip out past my lips.

"Wake up we have an appointment with your school today to go get any information that you might need before you start." He was met with further inhumane noises in response to his statement which seemed to satisfy him as he decided to stop his disruptive acts and leave the room I was temporarily abiding in.

After fighting against my desire to remain sleeping with skills that even Jackie Chan couldn't master, I rose, heading straight for the shower.

"Ow." I squealed as my head met with the toilet door, curtsy of walking with my eyes closed. I could feel the new arrival of a bruise forming on my face and made sure to welcome it to the family in the most sincerest way possible, within my thoughts.

My shower 80% consisted of me sleeping standing up with the water streaming down my face, with the other 20% composed of actions typically expected when showering.

A sigh escaped from my thoughts as I was forced to repeat the same torn clothing which I harbored the day prior.

After getting dressed and making sure my eyes avoided the honest revelations of the mirror, I headed downstairs to the kitchen.