The Devil's Daughter

Chapter 9 ~ (Part 2) Finding the Truth

Chapter 9 ~ Abbegael (Part 2)

I want to question it. How can he possibly know? Chase is a shield as well so it's not like Zak could simply read his thoughts. And yet...a glimmer of hope sparks inside me as his words slowly sink in. And the idea of grabbing that spark and running with it is too much of a pleasant thought for me to ruin it with the pessimistic questions lurking in the shadows of my mind. So, for once in my life I just let it go.

"Thank you." I murmur my eyes shifting slightly to the left of his eyes, uncomfortable with the sincerity in my own voice. The moment of silence after the words disappear on the wind seems almost deafening. I unconsciously clear my throat and shift my eyes back to his before opening my mouth to change the topic of conversation to something much less personal. 

The multitude of questions swirling behind his eyes halts to words in their tracks. He seems hesitant to voice any of them, like if he says the wrong thing he'll push me over the edge. The wariness in his gaze greats on my nerves and the gratitude I felt mere moments ago evaporates into nothing. Anger is all to willing to fill the void. How dare he think I can't handle this. I've been through enough by now to be able to handle a few pointless questions. Just how fucking fragile does he think I am?

Zak must see the change in me. The hardening of my eyes and emotionless expression, he takes a slight step backwards just as the words slip from my mouth unbidden.

"What? For God's sake just spit it out already." He sighs, his eyes closing for a moment like he's pained by something and when he opens them moments later, those vibrant green orbs are easily as hard and closed off as my own. His words are hard as he finally speaks.

"Did you mean what you said? You would seriously prefer that they killed you than for Lucifer to use you?" His voice is emotionless as he says the words and it's obvious he wouldn't care if they did kill me. 

"Of course I meant it." My tone is almost an exact replica of the one he used, if slightly higher, "Better dead than killing my own species." Killing everyone and everything I love, but those words can't be spoken aloud. Not to him. 

"Was he right? Do you want to die?" This time there is a combination of what looks like fear and maybe hope, shining faintly behind his hardened exterior and the confusion I feel only grows as I wonder exactly what he wants and whether he really wants to help me, or just himself. 

"Of course not. Like I said. I just want what's best for everyone. Do you really believe that they'll let me in without killing me?"

"Yes." His tone his firm, almost challenging, and yet a voice in the back of my mind whispers 'lie' so clearly it's almost as if the words were spoken aloud.

"You're lying," where the conviction comes from I haven't the slightest idea and yet as I speak I see the shock clear on his face for a split second and know I'm right, "what exactly do you think will happen?"

"They won't kill you, Abbegael." once again one single word 'lie' and the absolute certainty that it is, "I won't let them." I wait almost expectantly for it to happen again, but there is only silence after his final statement, and I get the sneaking suspicion that means it's true. Yet the two statements are almost contradictory. They'll kill me, but he will stop them. If he's stopping them how do I still end up dead?

Confusion still flitting through my thoughts, I focus on the simple fact that none of this really matter.

"Look, Zak, this is pointless, whether I live or die I have to at least try to warn them. Okay? I can't go back to Lucifer and I refuse to just sit around and do nothing." His eyes settle on my face like he's searching for something in the depth of my gaze, before finally, he gives a slight nod and I almost breathe a sigh of relief at not having to discuss my own death any longer. "Anyway. So, I'm a shield, huh?" A nervous flutter starts up in my stomach as I say the words. Finally he might be able to give me answers.