The Bodyguard (h.s)

Chapter 23: Not in that way

Maddie's POV

With his hands he moves the hair from my face, making me giggle, but i don't open my eyes. His hair tickles my ear making me get goosebumps, trying to get me up.

"Harrrry... Stop" i snuggle up to the pillow. I was not a morning person, i loved sleeping it was my favorite thing.

"HARRY?" i open my eyes realizing the voice wasn't Harry's. I sit up almost immediately, shit why the hell does this have to happen to me.

"Louis? What are you doing here?" I ask looking at Louis sleepy face, he was squatted down to my height.

"What do you mean what am i doing here, i live here Maddie. But what i don't get is why you called me Harry?" he was getting a little worked up. His eyes were a little red.

"Well since i fell asleep with Harry i thought it was him. Wait Louis are you drunk?" i ask freaking out. I thought he stopped that.

"What, slept with Harry?" he says standing up totally ignoring my question of him being drunk. I get up as well, he was probably thinking the worse of me, but i was going to let him know it wasn't what he was thinking.

"No No,  it's not what your thinking Louis. We were watching movies last night while you were sleeping_" he doesn't let me finish.

"Really because i don't remember you telling me about the movie night. Maddie i wasn't sleeping i heard you guys laughing but i didn't want to come down being the third wheel. So i left out to have some fun!!" i look at him odd. What so he was drunk, or maybe not anymore. I try to make him sit since he kept stumbling like he was going to fall. I put my arms to him back, but he rejects them I could tell he was getting frustrated.

"Third wheel? Louis your just making things worse. Please i don't want to fight with you, we haven't seen each other in forever and all we've done is get into arguments."

He keeps quiet. Louis removes his stare from me then shuffles his hair nervously. "I get this this anger in me when i see you with Harry."

"Louis i know your like a big brother to me and doesn't want me to get hurt. But you have to understand that i am not doing anything wrong" i reply, i knew he didn't like Harry because he thought Louis would hurt me.

"Maddie that's not what i meant..." i furrow my eyebrows. "I mean yeah that too but there is something else that bothered me." he comes to me grabbing my arms. To be honest he was scaring me, that smell and that stare was making me nervous.

"Madison Evans i love you" i stare at him in shock, i didn't know what to say. I attempt saying something but Louis hushed a finger to my lips. I knew this day would come, i was just hoping it wouldn't come so soon.

"Maddie just hear me out, you don't know how I hate to say i love you because it's hard for me. I hate saying i want you, even though you make it so clear you don't want me. I have never had the nerves to confront you because i know what you'd say, that i need to trust to believe you that you love me.. but not in that way. I hate saying i need you, i'm so reliant i'm so dependent i'm such a fool, when your not there, when i wasn't with you, i felt horrible, empty. The truth is you will never know that feeling, you will never see through my eyes, i have never asked you because i'm certain i know what you will say_"

"That i love you... but not in that way" i had the tears coming out of my eyes more than ever. I felt myself weak i couldn't handle the pain. Before i knew it i was running to my room locking myself.

I was such a horrible person i didn't deserve to live. I hurt Louis the person i cared about so much, had told me they love me. It felt horrible to know i don't feel back the same way. I can't live with this anymore, i'm such a failure, i'm a slut a whore a plain skank like Liam and Jason had called me before, they were right.

"Maddie open the door!" Louis tells me pounding on the door.

"No Louis go away please, i deserve to rot in here!" i say my back pressed against the door.

"Honey no please, i told you this not for your pity but to get it off my chest. I understand your feelings, and i want to keep this friendship"

"Louis i can't live knowing i'm only hurting you. Your the most valuable person i have ever had in my life. Then it turns out if been hurting you all this time?" i get off the floor running to my nightstand then grab a razor.

7 months. I was clean for 7 months. I hadn't cut since the time i met Harry that night. I stare at it, knowing it was the only thing that would make me feel i little better. I press the metallic knive to my wrists were the scars were formed.

Louis yells through the door, telling me to open but i block his voice out. I slide the razor and the blood started running down my wrists, tears falling into the cuts making them burn.

"What's going on?" I hear Harry ask Louis out in the hallway. Well it's about time he showed up, after he left me there on the ground sleeping alone.

"I screwed up Harry, i told her something i shouldn't have told her. Now she won't open the door, goodness i wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to her. She is blaming herself for not loving me, i knew i shouldn't have told he, now she doesn't want to live..." Louis says almost out or breath.

"Woah woah woah you did what?" Harry says in shock. "Jesus! Maddie please open the door, please." Harry cooes lightly on the crack of the my door.

I stay quiet, i really wanted to be alone now more than ever.

"Maddie i know your feeling pain, but this is not your fault." Louis says trying to convince me.

I say nothing just flooding into my tears.

"Open this door or will have to break in" Louis warns again, i stopped hearing Harry for some reason, maybe he left.

I don't dare answer the pleads.

"Say something please..." Louis inquires.

"I'm sorry" i frantically look into my drawers for something sharper, for some reason these cuts weren't helping the pain.

I hear something from behind me crack and i jump up looking at Harry coming out of the window into my room. How the hell did he get up here i was on the second floor.

"Harry? What are you doing here? Get out" i yell. I hear Louis from outside, "Harry??" he says confused.

"Madison, don't do this." he tries coming closer but i scoot away.

"Don't come any closer! I'm warning you, i will kill myself"

"No you won't"

"I beg your pardon?" i say in disbelief. Was Harry being a smartass with me?

"I said you won't do it, because you would have done it already"

"Well... your distracting me,  just get out of here, i'm a total disgrace. Get out!"

"I'm not going to leave, i'm staying in here ready to kill myself right after you do" he take a few steps closer, and my hand shakes the small blade onto my bleeding wrists.

"That's crazy talk?! You wouldn't do that?" i ask shockingly. I watch as Harry grabs another blade, slicing a small cut on his wrists. I gasp, what the heck was he doing?

"Hell yes i would and so would Louis." I look at him then to my arms helplessly. I didn't know what to do, i don't want to die but i don't want to live either. I wanted to move but my body seemed weak.

The blade falls off my grip, clasping hard on the ground.

"Forgive  me" i feel every ligament in my body tense, then soften making me fall onto Harry's arms.

"Your okay honey you're okay" i hear Harry cooed before i pass out.

A/N: Hello:) This is another update!! I'm glad i get so much love for this book it really means a lot.

Qotd: How do you feel about Louis telling Maddie he likes her? Please tell me what you think, also follow me on instagram, @princessharolds, then say you're from Quotev, i will fb you asap:)