Being Here, Next To You

Katsuki 's PoV

"Ahh!" I wake up, screaming. Luckily, it wasn't a very loud scream, not enough to wake the person sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. Cold sweat went down across my back as I sat up, trying to wake up and shake that dream out of me. it might not be a good idea if you still want to get back to sleep, but that was the last thing I wanted right now. That was the third time this week alone that I had that dream, that nightmare. I hate to admit it, but it seems to be happening more often as time passes by. I would have never guessed something like being kidnapped would leave such deep scars within me. Yet, those creepy scenes just keep on crawling into my head, as if to hunt me for getting out of there alive and in one piece. of course, it wasn't me who got out alone; more like the heroes came to save me. The fact that I got saved by a bunch of shiny heroes piss me off, but what annoy me the most is that he was one of them. the look in his eyes when I got kidnapped, right in front of him, pains me the most. he looked so desperate that I simply knew that if I won't tell him to back off, he would jump right in with me into this black shit. I know I hurt him with my words. I could see it on his face from the moment we met again. he was angry at himself for letting me go so easily, and so confused as to why I stopped him. As if he could have done anything, he was more injured then ever!

As much as it pains me to admit, the thing that hunts me the most is not the kidnappers, nor the fact that I let those weak guys rescue me. It's the fact that because of me, because I got kidnapped, All Might lost his powers and retired. The fact that right in front of that huge screen, I saw Deku crying, and shouting with all his might, all so that his childhood hero won't lose. I could see his heart breaking once he understood his hero is not the one standing above the villain, not anymore. Then, when that man, who used to be the greatest and strongest hero on earth, pointed at him, I knew. Those two have a complicated relationship, but its more then the one between a teacher and a student. He pointed at him, as if saying- you are next, the next All Might! the next mighty hero to be number one, to take everything I have been building and to become a great hero.

To be honest, when that happened, I was jealous at him for a minute there. But, mostly, I was proud. It was always my dream to surpass All Might and to become the strongest hero there is, but deep down, I knew he deserved this title more then I do. I was happy for him, that all his efforts are finally paying off. But soon after that I got pissed off at him because he looked at me with pity, anger and worriedness, all mixed together into one beautiful face. Only then, I remembered how much I missed his presence, how being locked down in one room with all the villains made me think of him, of how he would have handled them. From that moment, all I could think of is how lucky he was not to get caught as well, of how lucky it was that I got kidnapped instead of him.

The dream slowly faded from my memory as my mind got tired, reminded by the darkness around that it was still the middle of the night. But the bad feeling I had took control of my body, as if it remembered what my mind tried so hard to forget. I felt locked up, as if I got kidnapped again, as if my life were still in the hands of those psychopaths. The thought about how every breath I breath could have been my last made me take longer and deeper breath. My body triggered himself as if to avoid any danger, even if it was pretty obvious I was completely safe in my bed, inside the school dorms. I started feeling sick, my mouth got dried up, and my tired eyes began fooling me with false sights, as if those villains were watching me from the dark corners of the room. those villains, who guarded me back then, were looking at me, as if to decide rather I should be kept alive or die. I knew, both now and then, that the only reason I stayed alive was because they needed me alive. that if, for some reason, any of them would decide it would be more amusing to kill me, then I would've died.

in the minute I started, unwillingly, to imagine how they would have killed me, each of them in their own unique way, my stomach gave up on the fight to hold the food I ate in it. I tried to leave the bed slowly, without waking him up, but failed miserably as I fell down on the floor with a blanket around my legs. I held my stomach with one hand and my mouth with the other, got quickly up and ran to the little bathroom that was placed near the entrance. I closed the door, and without a minute to spare on rather locking it or finding out if my partner was still sleeping, I threw up into the little toilet that stood in front of me.