Stuck with me

quatorze - cigarettes and valentines

Back at school, everyone was buzzing with the love and energy of Valentine's Day. Billie wasn't even at school, so as you could assume, I felt pretty lonely.
At lunch I went out to the courtyard and sat at a creaky wooden bench that if I even so much as leaned on the wrong way for half a second, would probably fall apart and I'd end up getting a splinter in my asscheek. The idea wasn't too appealing to me, so I sat stiff and uncomfortable.
"Why are you sitting like there's a stick up your ass?"
I turned at the relatively familiar voice to face Mike, standing infront of me with an amused glimmer in his squinted eyes.
"This bench," I started. "It's like, about to fall apart... wait, what are you doing here?"
"Billie wants you to come to Christie Road tonight," he informed me. "He's got a little V-Day surprise, I assume. And he never fails to impress. He sent me as his messenger."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why isn't he here? Why couldn't he have just called me after school and told me himself?"
"He skipped and he was probably too nervous," Mike said. "Don't worry about it too much, just meet us on East Twelfth at Nine tonight. Deal?"
I nodded. "Sure. Deal."
And so later that night, I'd found myself at the corner on Twelfth at nine o'clock, hugging Billie's leather jacket close to me and surprised once again that they'd beaten me to it. Billie stood there in the light trembling and looking on edge. I ran to him and threw my arms around him, feeling him shiver when my lips grazed the crook of his neck.
"You should've been at school," I said. "I missed you."
I felt him soften under my touch, a relieved breath escaping his lips. "I know."
I'd clung to him for just a moment longer before pulling away and his eyes glimmered with longing, but he just pulled me along by the hand with Mike and Tre trailing closely beside us.
Billie's hand shakily gripped onto mine as the breeze ran through our hair, and I felt like it could carry the two of us somewhere better, far from here.
When we'd finally met at the tracks, Billie dragged me to the side, away from Mike and Tre, and pulled a medium sized teddy bear from his baggy ass jacket. I laughed.
"Oh my god," I said. "That's so cute.. you didn't have to-"
"I wanted to," he swallowed. "You deserve the world, but I can't exactly give that to you, so for now I just got a bear."
I held the bear close to me and read the card, tears forming in my eyes. I hadn't gotten a single Valentine's Day present in at least two years. It felt like forever until now.
"Jesus Christ," I said, wiping my eyes. "Oh my god I don't.. what do I even say to this? I haven't even gotten a present since my mom died.."
I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into the crook of his neck once again and he held me just as tight.
His voice shook as he started speaking again. "Uh.. I know this is really cheesy, but I swear I've never felt the way I feel with you.. I don't know if I told you but when I was ten my dad died and ever since I've always felt like something was missing.. and then you came along and you're obviously not my father but.."
He actually laughed in the middle of it, but he seemed really shook up, so I clung to him even tighter than before.
"You make me feel sane," he continued. "like I'm not going fucking crazy. If I were to loose you,.. god, I think I'd die myself.."
He pulled away and I saw the stormy, dim Jade color swimming in his eyes, signifying some seriousness in whatever it was that he was about to say next.
"Valerie, will you please be my girl?"
I smiled so big I thought my lips would just crack right there. "Of course I will. I mean, I was yours from the start, wasn't I?"
He smiled. "I'd sure hope so."
And then we kissed under the moonlight with Tre and Mike cheering us on in the background.
When we'd pulled away, Billie smiled and ran a hand through his raven-black hair. "Oh my god, I need a cigarette.. I was so scared you'd say no, holy shit.."
I thought I'd never get tired of the way his eyes lit up after they were once so stormy and the way he flashed his crooked teeth every time he smiled or how he left the cigarette perched inbetween his teeth for a few moments before he actually lit it. After he took the first drag, I couldn't rid the thought from my mind. "Did you actually think I'd say no?"
He shook his head, still smiling like a maniac. "You never know.."
"Well, I wouldn't," I shook my head. "Not in a million years."
I carefully tucked myself under his cig-free arm and admired him as the moonlight leaked into his eyes.
Score one for Valerie.