Stuck with me

dix-neuf - open up your worried world and let me in

The week after that, I was told to go to Billie's house for no apparent reason. Mike and Tre only said "it's a surprise."
I hated surprises. Always have, always will. They scared me, to tell the truth. So of course, I was left anxious and confused.
Billie hadn't even been the one on the phone to tell me to come over. It was Mike; the smooth talker of the group. Very laid back. It made me wonder if Billie had been nervous or something of the sort.
So he had me write down the address and then hung up on me; leaving me to pin up my hair and slip on a torn up shirt accompanied by Billie's leather jacket.
Ollie had welcomed me into the doorway almost immediately and lead me down to the basement where she said the trio were waiting for me. To my surprise, Billie looked like he might have been just as nervous as me, as I'd imagined.
I turned to Ollie who only left me on the bottom stair with a reassuring look.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"No big deal!" Tre said, waving me over. Billie went into another room and I just sat down on the cold concrete, my stomach bubbling with curiosity. I felt dumb for being confused which resulted in me trying to keep my calm and just tap my foot or something to keep me occupied while Billie was doing whatever. All that followed was more anxiety; the result of not knowing.
Finally, he stepped back out with his guitar in hand, and I couldn't help but let the smile form at my lips on its own.
"I wrote another song," he said quietly. "Uh.. I uh, wrote it after that night at your house last week. After.. you know. I'll just shut up now."
My teeth had sunken into my bottom lip as the anticipation rose in my throat. No longer was I nervous.
He began strumming but wouldn't take his eyes off the neck of the guitar. I don't think I'd seen Billie that nervous in months.. not since he asked me out. It seemed insane. It was a wonder to me how he could be so anxiety–ridden playing a song but not breaking into cars to steal money and cassette tapes.
"Juliet's trying to find out what she wants but she don't know, experience has got her down.."
I really hadn't even known what to feel. I mean, I did, but his voice and my stomach... it was too much. I felt like I might spontaneously combust. He sounded godlike, needless to say.
But as the chorus came around, he looked me right in my eyes as he sang, "cause I'm losing what's left of my dignity.. the small price I'll pay to see that you're happy. look at all the disappointments you have faced... open up your worried world and let me in."
That was the only part he could face me. I knew that very moment what he was trying to say and he didn't have to explain any further. Some part of me also knew I'd have those words on a loop in my head the rest of the night.
Finally, he'd finished the song and still wasn't looking at me.
"I hope you understand what I'm trying to say," he said, clearing his throat. "I just want you to be happy.. that's all I want. And if it takes all my time and effort to get you a job or something... I don't care. After all, that's what you've done for me."
I could feel Mike and Tre smirking but I decided it wasn't at all important. And so I found myself pushing the guitar from his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. The only words I could think to say were the three I thought that night he spent at my house last week.
"I love you," I whispered softly, only loud enough for him to hear. "My god, I love you."
"That's a relief," he said, chuckling against me. "I thought I was the only one.. I love you too, angel."
I didn't understand how he could think for even a second he was the only one, but that was besides the point. I didn't hate surprises so much anymore.