Stuck with me

vingt et un - waste away

A week and a half later, my dad had called me downstairs to say someone was there to see me; and I wasn't just getting my hopes up. It really was Billie.
I'd kept myself locked in my room ever since that Friday; a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a mascara–stained Cure shirt on. My hair was matted and tangled and the rings around my eyes were so big you could count them due to lack of sleep.
How are you supposed to sleep not knowing if your boyfriend, the one person who you truly love, is okay. Or if he's in the hospital. Or worse.
As soon as I stepped out the tears slid down my cheeks. I refused to look at him, harshly smearing the water from my eyes.
"Valerie, I'm sorry."
And hope. Hope filled my chest and I was ready to cling to him like never before. But again, that's not what happened.
"I can't do this anymore."
Everything stopped. What could I say? 
"Can't do what?" I croaked.
"I'm leaving town tonight. We finished the album. I'm getting out. And we can't see eachother anymore.. it's too much, Valerie. Don't you see it? You've become so caught up that you get drunk all the time.. you're drunk right now, I can tell. And you don't have a job.. you're not taking care of yourself. And neither am I. I've been getting my ass beat by my stepdad.. we're wasting time here. I can change it. I have the power to change it and you do too."
He was right and I knew it. He was right about everything, start to finish. The part about me getting drunk. About me being caught up in this infatuation. About us being able to change it.
But I didn't want things to change.
"I've never felt so happy in my life.. except when I'm with you," I start, my voice breaking. "I can't make you stay, I know that. But just know I love you.. I really do. I know you'll make it big, just promise me one thing; no matter how big you get, no matter how famous, never forget where you came from and never forget me."
He shook his head. "I couldn't forget you if I tried."
New tears were building up under my eyelashes. This has ended before it had really even started. It was bound to happen, though, wasn't it? I should've never gotten myself into it; it wasn't fate, it was circumstance, and I could've ended it with him before it went too far. But I'd been wasting away from the start. And that was that.