i had been with yoongi for 8 months when something began to change. i don't know if it's in a good way or a bad way anymore. everything's different now and i don't know what to do.
he still makes me feel like i'm flying with butterflies in my stomach and love in my heart but i don't know if i make him feel that way anymore, or if i ever did. and fuck did that hurt to even think about.
yoongi began to spend a lot of time at work, taking long hours and even sleeping there sometimes. thought i still had my small job at the cafe, yoongi was a huge manager type person at a very important, very rich enterprise.
he made me feel small some times. not purposely, just he was so beautiful, so kind, so lovely and he had this important job but i was just simply jimin. park jimin who worked in a cafe. but he said he had loved me and he called me all these pretty things. yoongi made me feel beautiful.
tonight i was going to try to talk to him about but i wasn't aware that it would end in anger and sadness for the both of us. it was the first serious fight we would have. i asked him "why have you been working so much recently? is something wrong" and he sighed like he was just too tired to answer. "it's nothing just stop" was his reply.
that just set something off inside me and i began to weep just standing there in front of him. "you look like a skeleton, you're pale and thin and i'm fucking worried about you yoongi, just tell me the truth" i screamed and he flinched away from my words as if they were poison being flung at him. he lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes. but that didn't cover the tears streaming down his cheeks.
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry" he muttered and i saw him pinching the skin on his right hand with his sharp nails. he kept going repeating that until he drew blood from his hand. i grabbed his hands and he pushed me back. "i'm sorry" he whispered and sped towards the bedroom and locked himself in.
i followed him quickly and threw myself at the door, crying and kicking and punching for him to let me in, that i was sorry and that i loved him, but all i heard from his was whimpers and sobs. i feel asleep in front of that door that night.
i woke up to the door open and yoongi's hand covered in blood with tear tracks cleaning some of the fresh blood off. he looked at me and cried again and i kissed his hand a million times, the taste of iron lingering on my lips.
"why?" i looked at his hand as i asked him. he could hardly speak his throat sore and swollen from crying. "father, beat me, punishment, being g-gay" he whispered and feel asleep in my arms tears still falling from his eyelashes.
i held him tight that morning, until i thought he would almost break apart from my arms. i pinched myself once to make sure this was real. but it was.
and my boy, my yoongi was sad and so was i. and it hurt.
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GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK AGAIN LAZY DUMB AUTHORS BACK TELL A FRIEND i've been felling shit lately tbh and i have a history assignment due tmr that i havent started pls kill me now i don't rlly have anythign else to say except I LOVE YOU GUSYS SO MUCH EVEN WHEN I DIDNT UPDATE THIS STORY WENT UP LIKE 10k?????? the fuCK? also i'm such a cringey phannie bitch i wrote this chapter listening to 2012 kill M E. iT's Time?,!,!,!,
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wGWHATAIS THIS IM CHOKVIFN kimyugyms aNywAys.,,..,,
