Shards of a Heart

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Now

Dear Jade,

I miss you. This email is going to be short, mainly because I'm starting school tomorrow, so I have to start getting up early and go to bed at a reasonable time again. You always hated waking up; you needed your 'beauty sleep'. Remember on the first day of third grade when we were going to be late so we tried a shortcut through the swamp? We walked in that little classroom tracking mud everywhere. We were sent home right away because we had it all over us; it was even in your hair. We were so proud though, we had made it to school on time.

Without you here I don't know how I'll survive. Maybe I Won't.

~C

A promise is not a real thing. It's a made up word that someone says to get you to believe the lies they spit from their mouth. It's a really useful tactic. Betrayal, deception, treason: they all have the same ending as a promise, and can be made by one who is purposefully tricky or just plain ignorant to what damage a promise can cause. I've only made a promise once, and it's been haunting me since the fatal day it shattered into a million glass shards at my feet - figuratively and literally.

I try not to reminisce too much as I stare at my plain reflection in the car mirror and examine the small scar below my left eye. It's minuscule, no big deal, but it is always the first thing I see when looking at my face. I've tried makeup before, but I hate looking like a porcelain doll and the scar is still visible under the concealer. The clock on my dashboard reads 7:10. I touch my face once more hoping it'll just disappear under my finger. It doesn't.

I have other problems.

Today is my first day of school at Hawthorne High School... as a Senior. Going to a new school sucks, but it sucks more when everyone at the school already has their little friend groups. I sigh and grab my backpack from the passenger seat, opening up the door to my jet black Mini Cooper - not really my style, but it was a gift from my dad. He had bought it from Jade's older brother and polished it up nice before we moved to California from my small town just outside of Seattle, Washington.

I try to blend in with all the other kids as we move through the front door of the school into a large opening with a long mural above the connecting hallway. I don't look at it long enough to tell what it is, reminding myself that I should have come through the side entrance to avoid this part of the school. I had been here for the open house day and had found my locker, so I worked my way towards that part of the building.

Hawthorne is not a new school like the one back in Seattle. Its walls are rough stone, the color a mix of light browns and maroons. The floors are concrete and hard, and the lights are attached to the side of the walls instead of the ceiling. I find my locker and pick up the notebook Im supposed to bring to my first class, then hurry down the hall towards room 146.

There is a seating chart hanging on the blackboard. A few kids are looking at it, then quickly finding their assigned seat. Most are complaining and trying to talk across the room to their friends, but I thank God for this wonderful gift. A seating chart means that I don't have to choose where I sit, and that was already making my day better. When the kid in front of me moves away, I search the list for my name.

Gray, Celia J. --- Row 3, Seat 7

I count three rows down and seven to the right. The empty desk sits waiting for me. I slide into it just as a loud - and annoying - bell rings, causing me to jump. The class quiets a little as a woman with her grey hair tied into a tight bun walks into the room and adjusts her glasses. She takes down the chart and looks over it, nodding at everyone individually.

"Alright," Her voice echoes across the room. She grabs a piece of chalk and starts writing something on the board.

I notice the long window way above it with what looked like grass blowing against it, thinking that this classroom must be on on the side of the hill, where it is mainly underground.

"I am Mrs. Ware as most of you know because I had you last year." my teacher's voice rings through the quiet. "Fun times shall I recall? Mr. Danfer, remember when you thought it'd be funny to put that hot sauce in my tea?" She smiles at a boy near the front who shakes his head up and down, grinning cheesily. "And Ms. Tenley, the time where you decided to get sick right on top of my desk?" This time Mrs. Ware looks over to a girl near the back who blushes violently. Someone giggles and Tenley shoots them a look, unable to hold in her slight smirk. "Hopefully we don't have incidents like that again this year, but alas, young ones like you need something more interesting than these boring walls in this old school.

"Anyhow, back on track. This class is Algebra II, so if you are not in the right place or feel you are not smart enough, please leave." she pauses. I had taken about a half a year of this class before things happened, so I zone out most of her intro, staring at the window above the blackboard. I figured that most of the students in this class were Juniors, so when the bell rings I just pick up my notebook in which I had scribbled a few random things throughout Mrs. Ware's speech, and walk straight to my next class.

"Hey, you left this" Subconsciously I must have heard the concordant voice coming from behind me, but since I assumed that no one would notice me today, I dismiss it as a figment of my imagination. That was until I hear it again accompanying a soft tap on my shoulder. Instinctively I flinch, but recover quickly and look over my shoulder into the hazel eyes of a girl whose strawberry blond hair is tied into a messy bun with strands framing her face. Her thin lips are shaped into a friendly smile that slowly fades. She raises a shaped eyebrow and her eyes flick downward. I do the same and realize she is holding a necklace - my necklace. I grab it quickly.

"Thanks," I knit my eyebrows unintentionally and turn away. As I walk towards my next class, I replay the last minute in my head. I hadn't even processed what she had said before I saw my necklace. Maybe I wasn't ready for this much social interaction? The most I had had since my broken promise was working at a dog kennel, which honestly didn't involve any talking. No. My counselor told me I was beyond a doubt ready, I had nothing to worry about.

I take a deep breath and clench the necklace tighter, rubbing the molded glass between the two thin silver rings, one of which used to have its home on my finger. After stepping into my next class, I slip into a vacant desk near the back and fasten my necklace back on. I'll have to check the clasp when I get home to make sure nothing's broken.

My counselor, Ms. Penny Janson, once told me that everything happens for a reason, even though we might not see it right away. There is never a true mistake. I didn't believe her at the time.

"What about that recent flood?" I had asked. "Rain is supposed to give life and keep things hydrated, so how come there was a flood in a healthy part of the world that drowns the earth, but on the other side, the earth is parched? Isn't that a mistake? The rain should have been dropped in the arid place, not the vivacious place." I'd stumped her and she knew it. But instead of admitting she was wrong she smiled.

"You know what Celia? I don't know the answer to that question. But I do know that it was not a mistake and that everything was perfectly planned out. Rain falls where it's supposed to. You don't have to believe me, but I'm telling you, someday you may see the reason as to why that - and other things - happen."

I had laughed and ignored that statement until a month later when the flooded city recorded that it hadn't had rain since the flood and that if it hadn't happened, the natural lake levels would have gone down significantly due to the summer heat.

I didn't know why my life had been blown apart that spring day in Seattle, and I still wasn't one hundred percent sure there even was a reason, but for some strange reason, I had a hunch that Ms. Penny was right.

• • • • • • •

So I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Shards of a Heart
I should be updating regularly since I am ahead on a posting schedule. This is my first story posted on wattpad, but I have written several before so I hope it isn't too horribly written. Please vote and comment because it helps me a lot, especially suggestions.

As Ponyboy always said:
Stay Gold

AJ♥️