Blinded Love

12. His Request

Zero's Point of View

It's been about a week since Yuki told me that rumor about the night class. And I could tell that she has been keeping a close eye on me. We have very few classes together, since her major is music education and mine is composition and cello performance. But she somehow finds a way to be by my side. Like by walking me to my classes or by sitting with me during our meals. Of course I'm thankful for her looking out for me, but she needs to learn that I am not a child.

I don't know what to think. The information that Yuki told me seemed too far-fetched, yet somewhat intriguing. This rumor could not be possible. It sounded like silly gossip to me. I have more important things to worry about. Like my school work, trying to keep up with everybody, going to my appointments, and the audition in two weeks.

I mean college students couldn't really have that much power. Could they? Most students are worried about their grades and image, not about other people ruining their certain way of life. I remember Yuki telling me that three students had to drop out for financial reasons and another four for unknown reasons.

Could it really be possible though? If I were to get closer in some way to Kaname somehow, would something happen to me? Those incidents could have just been coincidences. Right, it's not like I have much to loose. My father owns his own hunting shop near the mountains. He sells ammo, tags, and other necessities that hunters use to catch game. Most of our medical bills and loans are payed off . Plus I got a full scholarship to attend this school. For once we are actually in a good place in life.

I don't even know why I am worrying about this. It's just a silly rumor, nothing more than that. I'm pretty used to them. When I was younger some kids thought that it would be funny to spread a rumor that I was only pretending to be blind to get special treatment from teachers. Honestly, Yuki should know better than to believe some silly gossip going around. She had me worried for a minute.

My relationship with Kaname has grown. We have a few classes together and he helps me take notes and prepare for tests. I'm pretty confident to say that we are great friends. We tell each other jokes and converse like any good friends would. I still get butterflies when I'm around him. And I realize now that I have feelings for him. Not exactly love, but more of that I don't want our times together to end. It took me a while to accept them and I always wait for the next time that I get to spend with Kaname.

I've decided to keep these feelings to myself. Nobody can know what I feel for him. I don't even trust Yuki with how I feel. If someone were to find out I don't know what I would do. Would I run away or would I just keep my head up and move on? Kaname's reaction scares me the most. My father and therapist are the only ones that are alive that know that I'm gay. People in the past have pretended to be supportive, but they ended up stabbing me in the back with oppressive jokes and pranks.

When I first found out I was about twelve years old. It was before we moved to our current house up in the mountains. Back then I didn't know about all the persecution that we, as homosexuals, faced because of who our hearts belonged to. My brother, Ichiru and I were talking to some of our old school friends about who we had crushes on. All of them either said no one or the name of a girl, except for me. When they realized that the name I said belonged to a boy in our class they immediately started laughing and pointing at me, as if I were some animal in a zoo.

They told me that I was gross and that I would be punished for it. Of course my brother stood by my side until we moved later that week to the mountains for my father to start his business. Since then Only my family knew about my little secret. I was brought to tears when they told me that they still loved. It was one of my most treasured memories of my family being together. Though my parents still warned me to be careful who I trusted. They didn't want me to be hurt by others opinion of me. But I guess I took it too far.