holding on to you | j.w.d

9

it was now time for me to get ready for the date. I had a shower and blow dried my hair. I got ready into a blue summer dress as it was fairly warm and added some white vans. I did my make up and sprayed some perfume on. josh came and he was dressed very cutely.
"you look so cute" I say. he blushed.
"oh erm thank you" he stammered.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I-I don't know how to respond-" he cut me off.
"don't worry about it okay? let's just go have fun" this is why I love him.

we went to Dairy Queen and after the park. we held hands and quietly walked around. it was closing soon and pretty empty. I saw a couple by a tree. they looked so happy. "we used to be like they" I whisper. "what?" josh asks.
"oh nothing" I say.
"it's okay. I heard"
"I'm sorry I just-" he cut me off.

"don't want to make the same mistake twice?"
"no! Im just nervous that's all"
"it's okay. I am to"
"josh..." he looked at me properly.
"I still love you" I confess.
"why did you avoid what I said earlier then?"
"I thought I was over you. but then I realised; I'm not. I miss you. I just didn't want to admit it" I say.

"are you sure you still love me?"
"are you okay?" I ask, letting go of his hand. he'd been acting so strange.
"I'm fine okay? I always am"
"you and mariyah are exactly the same"
"what's that suppose to mean?"
"you can't admit the fact your not fine! because of me your broken down and I can't do shit to help you!"
"don't blame yourself"
"why shouldn't I?"

"I'm the one who believed the rumours"
"well I... what I did was..." I had nothing.

we walked around and talked more and then he took me home. I let him hang out with me for a while. meaning we sat on the couch, me in his arms, sharing snacks. like old times.