We got out the car and approached his
other family members. His brother,
sister- in- law, and nephew wasn't
there. I agree with them. They
shouldn't have to see the person they
loved get put 6 feet under. I walked
with his family and saw his casket. I
immediately stopped walking.
'You should be in that casket! Not him!'
My mind went crazy. I broke down into
tears as I ran towards him. "Niall!
Please come back to me! I'm so sorry!
Niall please!" I screamed at him
knowing he was gone. Gone forever. I
was then pulled away by his father
telling me it's going to be ok. I fought
him telling him to put me down. This is
why I don't come to funerals
"Julianne." I heard Greg's voice. I
turned around and ran to him. "It's
gonna be alright." "Stop saying that.
You know it's not. I was supposed to
die. Not him." I cried. "Everyone were
starting." I heard someone call. "Let's
go." "I-I can't. I'm not ready to say
goodbye." I cried not ready to leave
someone I truly loved. "Take me home.
Please" I begged. "I can't. If it was you
in there, Niall would've been there at
your side since the moment you left
him. He loved you Julianne. And he
always will." Greg said. It's true. Niall
would've been there for me. The least I
could do is be there for him. "Julie,
your face." Denise spoke. "Come with
me, let's get you cleaned up. I nodded
and left with her. After wiping my face
of all the makeup, we went inside.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust-" I
blocked out everything the priest was
saying and concentrated his beautiful
face. He was in a beautiful tux and his
hair styled like always, in a quiff. Since
I was in the front, I reached out to
touch him. I touched his jaw line, his
hair and I kissed his lips. I pulled back
caressed his cheek. "I will always love
you Niall. Always." I then returned
back to my seat and that's when they
closed his casket and lifted him. I
wanted to scream and tell them to put
him down so I could be by his side
every minute. They proceeded to leave
and everyone followed. I got up slowly
and followed behind everyone. Then
after saying prayers and blessing his
casket, he was down 6 feet. I turned
away and died of heartbreak. I
suddenly felt dizzy and collapsed. "I-I
need m-my inhaler." I said gasping for
air. Denise went in my bag and found it
and handed it to me. I then felt a bit
better after using it. I then ran to the
parking lot trying to get away from this
pain and agony. I went in my bag again
to put away my inhaler and took out a
razor. I took my coat off and rolled my
sleeve up and I pressed the blade onto
my scarred skin. I felt nothing. No
blood, no pain. Nothing. Then the
blade flew out of my hands.
'But it couldn't have done that. Blades
don't fly' I thought. I went in the
direction where the blade flew and it
went into a tree. Then it carved it self
and it said,
"Remember my last words. I will
always love you. -Niall." I gasped at
what I saw and I felt like he was there
He was trying to save me. "I love you
too Niall." I spoke as I looked at the
tree where his last words were carved.
"Julianne!" I heard as I turned around.
"We were worried about you. Please
don't scare us like that." Maura said. "I-
I'm sorry. I won't do it again. "Ok let's
go." "Wait! I want to take a picture of
this first." I then took out my phone
and took a picture of his last words. It
was truly beauiful. I saved the picture
and used it was my screensaver. Now I
will always have Niall with me
wherever I go. And I will always
remember that this is the day Niall
saved me from suicide.
