My Explanation

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Niall's POV

"Your worthless Niall you know that!"

"Just die Niall!"

"Your fucking ugly!"

That's what people told me ever since I entered high school. And like Cady in Mean Girls, I ate lunch in the bathroom. I've never had friends since freshman year and I've decided to change my look in sophomore year.

I've gotten some attention and made a friend. Her name was Heather. We went out for a month and she cheated on me for a jock. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean I was uglier than ever and probably still was at the time. I then went back in the bathroom for lunch that day. I went home crying for 2 years.

Then I met Julianne. She was like me. She was invisible and beautiful at the same time. I knew she's self harmed from when I saw the healed marks on her wrists. She caught me staring an looked away and I felt like a creep. I sighed and and ditched the rest of the day.

Since that day, I've been plotting my "death."

Yes I faked my death. You shouldn't be surprised.

I had to restart my life over. But I couldn't do it yet. Julianne was my priority. I loved her. And she loved me back, although she hasn't said it yet, I know she has.

We would go out to the movies or when it was a nice spring day, we would go have a picnic at the park. I remember how her eyes would look when she looked at the sunset. And she would laugh about the tiniest jokes. Her smile was the only thing that kept me from "killing myself".

I had to plan everything out carefully. She then took me to her house and that's where I kissed her. Her lips parted and her eyes were closed. I wanted to take it further but I was scared knowing that her brothers room is next door.

I told her I loved her and she smiled. Before I left I placed a note in my sweater pocket and a ring. I purposely left it in her room and left with my books.

I then "died" and to make sure I wasn't breathing I took a pill or medicine which slowed my heartbeat. My parents found out I died and set up my funeral.

I remember hearing Greg saying how it's his fault and how he should've protected me more. I felt bad for doing this but I had to. To start a new life. To get away from bullying.

I remember Julie's lips on mine at my funeral. They then closed the casket and put me 6 feet under. But what they didn't know is that I woke up and got out the casket a day later and went into hiding.

I only had my passport and a plane ticket to Brazil. I changed my phone number and started a new life there. And that's when I met my fiancé, Olivia. She too was on vacation and we hit it off.

Now, you think I'm an asshole and plenty other things but I did what was necessary. And now 15 years later, I'm back and better than ever.

I went to see Julianne at her office and since they wouldn't let me through I had to say I was her boyfriend. They let me up to the office and I went inside and I sat in her leather made seat.

A few minutes later, she came and she saw me. Her facial expression when she saw me was shocked. But she kept calm and carried on. We met for dinner that night and I bought her roses.

At that time when I held her hand to go to my car, I knew I was making a mistake by marrying Liv. Julie was the one I wanted and still want.

She looks so perfect without even trying.

We ate dinner at the restaurant and I could feel tension between Olivia and Julianne. She tried to start conversation with Liv but she answered rudely and Julianne didn't need that.

After we ate and I left to get the car, I called the wedding planner and told her that the weddings off. Olivia is going to murder me but I could care less. Through out dinner, I would remember the times we had together.

And the time when she saw on the tree outside her window that her dad was coming home, that was me. I found information on her dad and carved it on the tree. I hid behind the tree after I did that. I then took off for Italy to meet Liv and her Italian family.

As I drove home that night from the restaurant, I knew I had to get Julianne back. She was, is, and will always be my number one priority.

Now I bet your wondering how I got inside her apartment. Well it's quite easy actually.

After I dropped Liv home and she passed out sleeping, I went back to Julianne's place and climbed up the fire escape which led to her room. I didn't mean to make any sounds but I did. And when she came out with a bat, I wrapped my arms around her waist. I told her it was just me and she relaxed. It felt good to have her in my arms again and I want her in my arms forever.

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