Now I Can See You // Nishinoya X Reader

#25 - What I want (pt.I)

I found myself running through the corridor. It was late afternoon and warm sunrays were peeking into the windows, flashing onto me every now and then as I was still running.

I was breathless, but I kept on running.

The picture of Nishinoya telling Taki he liked me still was replaying itself into my mind, as well as the wound he opened when he said he'd taken the exam to follow Kiyoko was still hurting and bleeding inside of me.

My mouth was dry, my limbs were hurting and my heart was pounding but my legs didn't want to stop. They took me in the gym, where the practice match between Karasuno and Fukurodani was going on.

The Guardian Deity was fighting against one of the four top aces in the country. He was struggling to keep the ball in the air.

"I'm a libero. I will protect your backs"  he said once, pointing at himself with his thumb and showing a grin on his face.

My eyes were admiring him but there was a storm in my head. I had thousands of things to tell him. The words I wanted to speak were swriling in my brain. I wanted my feelings to reach him properly.

Just then, a ball hit the fingers of Tsukishima and was about to fall out of the court but he flashed as fast as a lightning and saved it.

What happened next, though, made my heart sink. Nishinoya rolled and bumped his back hard on a chair that was next to the scorekeeper's table. He was lying there still and everybody was going towards him. My legs couldn't move, I was petrified, my eyes wide open.

"N-Ni...shi..." I stuttered in a low voice as I slowly walked towards the little crowd around him. As the other Karasuno members saw me approaching, they opened up to let me in without me speaking a word.

I bowed onto my knees next to him.

"N-Noya..." I spoke with a broken voice.

He half-opened his eyes and tried to focus on me.

As soon as he recognised my face, he forced himself to speak: "[Name], I... I was trying to tell you..."

"Shhhh" I whispered, striving to hold my tears back "You have to rest now. I will take care of you".

As he did when my ankle was hurt, I helped him get up and passed an arm around him. He was holding onto me with the both of his arms.

Takeda-sensei helped me to carry him in the infirmary and then left us alone.

As he was lying down asleep I was sitting there and holding his hand tight. My eyes were wet with tears. I was scared at the thought of him having to stop playing. I remembered the bruises I saw on his back when he was getting changed at my place, just a week earlier.

He had passed the exam, too.

Yeah, he had done it. Sorry, I forgot to tell you... It just popped into my mind. The news actually was what pushed me to run to him to tell him I loved him. Even if he'd refuse me, I didn't care. I just felt I had to tell him before he'd go away from me with her.

Some time later, my eyelids became heavier and heavier. I must have fallen asleep.

Sorry, Noya. I'm not as good as you as a Guardian Deity.

As I woke up, I realised I must have fallen asleep with my head on the infirmary bed he was resting on. He was sitting awake and his hand was caressing my cheek. As soon as I noticed this, I got wide awake and jolted to look at him.

Crap. I wasn't able to speak a word even though I had a thousand things to tell him, so I just stared at his pale face with tired features in silence. His hair were half down from the sweat and he still was wearing his uniform. As our eyes met, he showed me a soft, warm smile that also revealed a bit of sadness. His eyes were wet, too.

"How are you?" I finally spoke.

"I think I'm good" he spoke with a face that didn't hide his pain completely, though.

"You don't have to act strong with me, Noya. Don't be so dumb" I weeped then, hiding my face into his chest. I felt his warm hug that filled my heart with serenity but my shoulders couldn't stop shaking.

"Listen..." I went on, parting from him "I have to tell you something. I know you don't feel the same, but I..."

"You don't know anything" he abruptly spoke "You will never know, if you don't let me speak"

"Ok, then... I'll listen to you" I said.

"Last week... Kiyoko-san told me she was in love with me"

Again, I froze. I didn't expect that.

I suddenly realised that worlds divided me from the person I though was my best friend. Now I could clearly see it, though. The reason why she was so cold to me. I thought it was due to her "Goddess aura" or something like that. How stupid had I been! Kiyoko was simply playing the role everybody expected her to play, but she was only human after all. She had feelings, too. Nobody could see it, neither did I, who claimed herself to be Kiyoko's best friend.

I had been the selfish, shallow person as everything else had been towards her. I now realised she was alone in her popularity. Everybody seemed to know her, to love her and to look up to her but nobody really cared about her. I felt bad for her and, at the same time, I realised I didn't have anything to be envious about. I was lucky, after all. I had friends who loved me while she didn't.

That was the time I realised that being an average is not that bad, after all. If being an average means to be human, I'd rather be imperfect than lose my humanity. We don't need to be perfect. Our mistakes may cause us to be judged but they make us grow.

But let's leave philosophical reflections for now and go back to our story.

~~~●••●••●~~~

Hello!

I updated this today because yesterday I helplessly fell asleep on the couch lmao

I have finally fixed the problem with my PC by myself and now IT WOOOORKS *smirks and munches Honey Buddha Chips like Defender of Justice and Master of Hacking 707* tehehhehe

Okay now we're passed from cliffhangers and fluffy crap to cliffhangers (yayyy) and sentimental Anohana/Kimi ni Todoke stuff (I admit I have been struggling a bit to hold tears back when I described some scenes in this chapter ;;;;;)

BUUUUUUT as I promised, I put SOME PLOT TWIST YAYYYY

I know you love me lolololol

LUUUUUUV AND HUUUUGZ

Shiri-Chan96 💖