Now I Can See You // Nishinoya X Reader

#24 - Why did I ask this?

"Is there a little chance you might like me?"

"Huh?" at first, he didn't seem to get the question and looked at me as if I asked it completely out of the blue - and indeed I did it.

Then he went on after an awkward silence filled the space between us creating some sort of divide. I desperately hoped the bell would ring soon to avoid the problem I had created myself, at least to get some more time to think about a way to deal with it. Because no, there was no turning back. The atmosphere was as tense as a violin string.

"Why are you asking this?" he slowly said, cautiously.

He got me deeply astonished with those words. My knees seemed near to cede, as if the control of them didn't belong to me anymore or as if they had suddenly melted.

"S-sorry, don't think about it. I don't even know why I asked it" I nervously spoke after having a short hysteric giggle.

"But you asked it" he remarked. He didn't let go as I expected.

Aw crap.

"I was distracted. Don't think about it, I said" I said in a firmer way due to my will of avoiding any kind of refuse.

I was convinced I'd be refused by him. There was no need to make a comparison between me, an average third year in the Karasuno High, and Kiyoko, the Goddess. Still, I couldn't send away the thought of the words he had said the night before... "You are the Great Goddess". But I was sure he had been mocking me, even though he wasn't laughing.

I thought I was a horrible person, to be honest. I allowed the crush I had on Nishinoya to weaken the bond of friendship I had with Kiyoko. We girls used to be good friends, even though I always felt some distance between us. I always felt inferior. And this was no good. Envy is a bad feeling. But you as a human... how can you avoid it? I've always lived to make myself grow better and overcome my limits to become the best... But is this right?

"I'm going to answer" he seriously said. I was scared by him when he was serious. I had heard that when he once got really angry the male volleyball club menaced to crash into pieces. The Guardian Deity had once turned into the Destroyer Demon.

"Nishinoya... No" I begged.

"No, listen to me  now. I owe you an answer... I was thinking I owed you an explanation but... but actually I didn't expect it to be needed so soon... I'm not ready to do this, but I have to"

His words were like ties that bind. The tension was taking possession of every single muscular fibre in my body. I wouldn't be able to run away even if I wanted to. Words are one of the most powerful weapon in the world.

"I feel confused lately" he began "I really am confused. I thought I liked Kiyoko-san... and this is actually the reason why I wanted to do the exam. I admit that the prestigious volleyball club partially was an excuse. But then..."

At this point I felt like a sharp knife had pierced my heart. It was pounding and bleeding... I could feel it burn. I was on the verge of tears. The Destroyer Demon had shown a quieter way to make things fall apart.

Suddenly, the bell rang.

"S-see you" I simply spoke, trying to hold back the tears in my eyes and avoiding to look at him.

"But I'm not finished yet..." he tryed to hold me by my wrist, but I avoided his grasp and almost ran in the classroom. I was broken to find that in the end Vladimir was right.

That evening, I went back to the ramen place Nishinoya had taken me to in our "date". I was alone. When Ryu saw me, he guessed that something was wrong. But well, I suppose everyone would have guessed it by my reddish eyes. I ate my ramen slowly and a bit reluctantly even though it was delicious. But the truth is, even the best ramen tastes worse without Nishinoya.

I waited for all the customers to go away till the closing time and then I wept tightly wrapped into my best Bro's arms, while he patted my head with no idea of what to do.

But well... I guess that's what good friends are for.

*A week later*

I had been avoiding Nishinoya since my "confession".

I had never been so much hurt by being refused, I have to admit it.

That conversation still was swinging in my mind, repeating itself over and over. The more I tried not to think about it, the more I thought about it of course.

Ryu, as the kind person he was despite his always misunderstood looks, ate lunch with me everyday and spent less time with his male friends and teammates to be with me. Today I still think that if Ryunosuke Tanaka didn't exist, someone should have invented him.

"Uhm... [Name]-chan" he spoke exactly one week after I last talked to Noya "Did you know the results of the exam are out?"

I had an apathic look at his face, even though the food in my stomach had suddenly started stirring. My helpless attitude caused him to bring one hand to his forehead. Later, I would have found out I reminded him the Nekoma setter that time.

"I suppose you wanna know about it" he forced himself to smile. Then he laughed: "I didn't pass it, of course".

"Huh..." I hummed

"WHAT? YOU DON'T LOOK SURPRISED AT ALL!" he started acting flamboyant, making dramatic gestures and pretending to cry "YOU SHOULD SHOW A BIT OF SORROW FOR YOUR BEST BRO, BE KIND WITH HIM! HE'S GOT A SENSIBLE HEART UNDER THIS ARMOR, YOU KNOW!"

"Sorry..." I distractedly spoke with icy cold words "And Nishinoya?"

~~~●••●••●~~~

Hello!

I do feel a little better, yayyy :D

Sorry for the half-cliffhanger (again)

I'm afraid that many of you readers are not going to read my story anymore since it's full of fluff and cliffhangers... Gomeeeen for thiiiiis craaaawp *weeps*

I promise there will be some more plot twist in the next chapter..! ^o^

I'm always glad to have you as my readers,

Shiri-Chan96 💖