My Hockey Husband

Chapter 49

Courtney

I let go of his hands and walking to the kitchen table. Matt quickly ran over and pulled me out one of the little brown chairs from the table. I stopped, looked at him, smiled gently, then sat down. He went to the other side of the table and sat down across from me. "Courtney, I'm sorry." Matt apologized.

"Why." I asked horsily. Matt looked down at the table with sad looking eyes. He sighed. Then looked at me sadly.

"Because I love you, Courtney. Ever since I first laid eyes on you, ever since we started talking. Nights where we turned the lights off and we didn't sleep..." I started to blush a little bit. "But Courtney, sweet Courtney," Matt continued. "What I'm trying to say, is that I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you. You're my everything, Courtney, even though I know I'm not yours. But I don't mind. Because you're happy, and my happiness is coming from your happiness. If you're happy with Adam, okay. But remember, I'll never stop loving you. That's why I proposed to you. Because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

"I would go to hell and back for you. I was never going to leave your side. I loved you then and I still love you. I wish it was the same with you. I wished you still loved me. I wished I was the one, up at the alter, seeing you walk down the isle in a beauty white dress. I wish I could have bought a house with you. Wake up every morning to seeing you, asleep at my side, and going to bed the same way. I wish that the baby you're carrying was our baby. I wish we had a future together, where we grow old together. But I know this is real life, and that won't happen. Adam has all that with you.

"I didn't come here to guilt trip you, to make you feel bad or sad. I came here became Adam is trying to split up our friendship together. I don't want to lose that with you. That's the only thing I have with you. He has everything he's ever wanted. You as his wife, living together, having a family together. I don't have that with you. I have our friendship. It's not bad, I love being friends with you, but you see, Adam should be grateful about his life with you, but in my opinion, I feel like he's just abusing that advantage." I put my head down and closed my eyes. I heard Matt's chair move, then him shuffle over. He put his hands on my shoulders.

"What do you want me to do, Matt?" I asked as I turned, opening my eyes to see him above me. He came to the side of me, knelt down next to me and gently pushed my hair back behind my ear. He smiled gently.

"Don't have Adam push me out of your life." Matt replied in a whisper. I just stared at him. He got up and grabbed my hands. I stood up. We were facing each other, hand in hand. "Please." He begged. I swallowed hard. "That's all I ever want. To be your friend." I nodded.

"Okay." I whispered. Matt smiled. He leaned in and slowly kissed my neck. I closed my eyes, not knowing what to do. He kept kissing it softly, making his way up to my jaw. My emotions were running wild. It felt like I was actually going to collapse, but I sat there, still. I wanted him to stop. But every time I tried to move to push him off me, or to even talk, I couldn't move. It's as if I was stuck. He started to kiss my check. He pulled me in closer.

Stop. I thought. Just please, stop.

"I love you, Courtney." Matt whispered softly, then kissed me on the cheek. I said nothing. I did nothing. I was still in shock. He leaned back a little, staring at me. He smiled gently. "I love you so much." He whispered. He leaned in slowly, then started to kiss me on the lips.