Complications

Part 43

I feel so good now. Maybe I really needed to come clean about my feelings for Niall. And it feels so amazing to kiss him, to hug him or just simply to be with him. After I told him how I felt, we went back to my room and just talked about everything and just had fun. He had his arms around me and that gave me a good feeling. I felt like I was in the right place with him. I am in the right place with him.

But is he in the right place with me? Megan! Stop it! Don’t ruin it now. Just be happy that you’re together with him. I try my best to be happy and I am happy for most of it but still.. I’m still scared that something will happen to him because of me.

I have to admit, I miss him. And he’s just been gone for like an hour or so. I don’t think I ever can be without him. When I’m with him, I’m in a whole different place. I love that place, I want to be there forever. But unfortunately, I can’t. I have to be extra careful. Make sure nothing will go wrong.

Suddenly someone knocks on my bedroom door. ‘Megan? Can I come in?’ my sister asks. ‘Yeah, come in.’ I reply. When she appears, she has the biggest smile ever. Oh god, what now.

‘Why the smile?’ I ask with suspicion in my voice. ‘He slept over, didn’t he?’ she asks with an even brighter smile. Okay, stay calm and don’t act like anything is going on. ‘Yeah so?’ I reply calm. ‘So did anything happen?’ ‘No, we just talked like always and it was late and I asked him to stay over.’

‘Oh, that’s all? Nothing happened? Like a kiss or something?’ ‘Nope, nothing.’ She give me that look that she always has when she doesn’t believe me. ‘I don’t believe you, but I’ll leave it for now.’ she says winking at me. ‘Whatever you say Maddie.’ I reply smiling and then she left the room.

Why am I keeping Niall a secret? I know why, because I want to protect him. But for my own sister? I don’t have to do that right? Great, now I feel guilty. I don’t have to feel guilty, I’m doing this to keep him safe.

Suddenly my phone goes off. It’s Niall calling me and I immediately feel better. ‘Hey Niall! I missed you.’ I say excited and I hear him laughing. ‘I missed you too, babe.’ Babe, he called me babe, well I liked that. I can’t help but giggle. ‘What? What’s funny?’ he asks. ‘Nothing, just.. babe?’ I ask giggling. ‘Yeah, just trying out something here. So why I called, I don’t know when I’ll be back, my mom’s flight is delayed so I’ll probably be stuck here for a while.’ I wish I went with him to pick his mom up.

‘It’s okay. But ehm, can I ask you something?’ ‘Yeah sure what’s up?’ I take a deep breath. ‘Does your mom know about me? About us?’ ‘No, not yet. I wanted to tell her face to face.’ Okay so he’s definitely not keeping me a secret. I feel a little guilt come back. ‘You okay there?’ he suddenly asked so I guess I have been quiet. ‘Yes, I’m okay, I’m great actually.’ I reply and mean it. I feel great even though I kept my relationship with him hidden from my sister. She probably won’t be the only one who I would tell otherwise but I just haven’t figured out yet what to do.

‘Okay, I’ll call you later then and maybe I can come over tonight again?’ he offers. ‘Yes, I’d love that. But only if your mom agrees.’ I say. ‘Deal. I love you Megan.’ ‘I love you too Niall.’ I reply before we end the call. I do love him, more than anything in the world. But what should I do? I don’t want to keep him a secret but his safety means more to me. I do know that if I don’t talk to anyone about this, it will tear me apart. Lying to my sister about it earlier was wrong. I have to tell her, she’s not only my sister but my best friend too. One of the few people I can trust.