Shivers

Time

I didn't recall anything - my mind was blank and useless. Was I Alice or Rosella? Was I dead or alive?

Days went by in a blur; my eyes never budged a millimeter. Noises filled my head: a mixture of gunshots, incessant beeping and whispering voices led me through the darkness...

Slowly, my eyelids gave way, but my body still lay motionless. The room was cramped and full of dying foliage (multi-coloured daisies, snowy roses, etc.) and fruit that would never be eaten. The monstrous walls enclosing me were pale and sad with a glacial, beige ceiling greeting me. Gloss decorated the floor, creating a pristine mirror as a tiny window adorned the solidity of the space - the only thing reminding me that life still existed. My arms were hanging limp at my sides as IV tubes stuck themselves into me and an uncomfortable oxygen (well, at least I THINK it was oxygen) wrapped itself around my mouth and nose.

As I slowly woke, nurses began to rush around me, sprucing up the plants and checking my bloods and machines. "It should be soon." one nurse said. What would be soon? "Prepare for the worst." another sighed. What could be worse than this infernal place?

Suddenly, and without warning, the oxygen seemed to stick in my throat and the tubes inside of me hurt too badly. I was no longer paralyzed so I decided to do something to help my discomfort and yanked the mask off of my dry, bony face. But, before I could move onto the needles, nurses restrained me; I would have to try and escape when I was sure that nobody was around. Confusion filled my thoughts as I did not know why I wanted to go but I just knew that I had to go...

A few more days later - two, to be exact - I decided that a world without my not-so-brother, my Dad, my sister and Riley, was in fact, no world at all. That day, I made the decision to put the tubes to a better use. Strangulation was the best way without being found out. So I did it.

When they heard the beeping of the oxygen monitor, they came. They ripped the tubes out of my hand and fed me gasses which I did not know the names of. I fought back and punched a few nurses and doctors in the face and kicked at them with my new, robotic leg - it turned out to be a very good weapon.

"STOP!" a man came into the room. He looked as though he had authority, as, immediately, everyone stopped, including myself. "Alice. Please explain yourself."

I couldn't help it - I just did it. "I have nothing. I have no-one. What is the point?" he looked concerned and so referred me to a private counselor - I didn't register their name. They were nice and gave me confidence. They explained why I should feel the way I did and why it was important that I remain strong: I was lucky and I shouldn't take that luckiness for granted. I never understood how I was lucky, but I trusted them as they reminded me of the mother I never had.

Soon, I was ready to try school again...

The first day was always going to be the hardest. I was still adjusting to my useful, new leg and my new way of life within a psychological children's home. Luckily, I discovered that we were due a trip to an historical sight the next day, so that wasn't so bad. My first day was going fine until break when the bullying started again. This time it was calls of horrible things, but calls of how stupid and dumb I was for not having been in school for months on end. I din't mind this time. I had had worse.

That night only made the day go worse. The ashes of Riley, David, Penelope and Tristan were all given to me to spread wherever I liked. I planned on putting Riley, David's and Penelope's together on the beach and to put Tristan's in the graveyard by his father's - he was horrible, but it was all his dad's fault.

Tomorrow was going to be busy but normal; and I was looking forward to it.

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