50 Shades of Schrob

Ronnie

"Falcon, goddamn it! What are we supposed to do now? Why'd you get the cops on us?!" I screamed.
"What the hell, you're the one who decided to go 95 miles per hour in a fucking school zone!" The twink (so sorry Jake love you dude) retaliated.
"Just keep calm, I forgive you for making a rookie mistake." I said.
Jake was about to say some nonsense , but stopped when the police officer tapped on the window, signaling for me to roll it down.
"What seems to be the problem, officer?" I say trying to be as seductive as I used to be for be for Warren, biting my lip and fluttering my eyelashes.
"Stop. Stop with whatever you're trying to do. Do you have any idea how fast you  were going? In a school zone with small, young kids."  The officer annoyingly scolded.
"Why would need to stop? Am I too sexy for you, Papa?" I reply, popping the 'p' in papa.
"Okay, so I'm not technically allowed to say this, but-" The officer began.
"But you wanna fuck me and the kid in the bushes back there?" I cut him off.
"Well, that wasn't what I was gonna say, but that offer does sound kinda good. Are you sure? By the way, my names Ronnie." Ronnie, the police officer, said.
"Oh I'm so down, Daddy." I smirked.
Jake was still in the passenger seat looking at the two of us with wide eyes, like a deer in the headlights.
"Fuck no! I'm not fucking you two!" He raised his voice.
"That's okay, son. You are a little too thin for my liking anyways. Go listen to Metallica, champ." Ronnie told him.
I opened the door and Ronnie immediately grabbed my hand, excitedly pulling me towards the bushes.
Once we make it there, Ronnie begins to pepper kisses from my gizzard to my ear.
He leans into me, stroking his hands down my sides then onto my hips, resting them there. He moves his right hand slowly, teasingly, to my half chub and palms me through my camouflage cargo pants.
"No, not yet. It's your turn right now." I whisper into his ear, nipping his earlobe with my teeth.
I kneel down and begin to caress his inner thighs, whispering sweet nothings to him as he brushed his hands through my balding crows peak. Once I reach the zipper of his jeans, I gently pull it down without hesitation, revealing Ronnie's python. I begin to rub my thumb against it, then I take my cancerous lump on my left hand and pat his dick with it. I cautiously put his log in my mouth and begin to bop my head up and down, and moments before he shot his load through my skull, like Kurt Kobain, I bit his dick off.
Ronnie dropped to the floor, screaming in complete utter agony, holding his nub where his wang used to be. I spit it out then turned around and walked to my car smiling.
Ronnie got in the way of me killing Warren. And nobody comes between me and homicide.