matutine ⇒ cole sprouse

f o u r

"And why is it that you think your dad doesn't love you, if I'm correct you said he told you he loved you the night he left?" Natasha spoke. Natasha was the name of my therapist, she said I could call her by her first name so we could better bond as humans.

"Because he didn't show up to my mothers funeral. I mean what kind of person does that? We haven't even made contact since that night, for all I know I could have siblings." I shook my head in disappointment, looking through the bookshelf in the therapy room.

"I know this might be a lot, because we've kind of steered more towards the direction of your relationship with your parents and family. Though, id like to ask if you'd feel comfortable with talking about the accident now?" Natasha stood up, walking over and touching me on the shoulder.

I paused for a moment before turning to face her, nodding in agreement.

Today was the first day of spring, March 20th. My sister and I decided it would be a great day to take a walk.

Her neon pink hair was in a pony tail, her outfit being a velvet choker and a long shirt she wore as a dress. It had the name of a band I couldn't recognize, and she wore it with a pair of vans.

My sister had always been the nerdier one. She played football and I played volleyball, she listened to rock and I listened to pop, she liked having crazy hair colors and I liked being blonde. We were almost the exact opposite, but at the same time like the same person.

I was just wearing a pair of Nike Air Force ones and black jean shorts with a plain white body suit. Plus, my hair thrown up into a ponytail.

I didn't have foundation on today so my light freckles were showing for the world to see, something I was very insecure of.

I watched as little kids ran around or played on the playground, while we just walked along the sidewalk and enjoyed the sounds of birds chirping and the breeze.

"I have a date tomorrow night." I blurted.

Everything seemed brighter in spring. The grass, the flowers, the people. The trees swayed and wind whistled, and if you really payed attention it might seem for a second like everything is perfect and there's something bigger than ourselves.

My sister's head snapped from the fountain to me, her eyes wide and a smile creeping onto her face.

"With who?!" She squealed, stopping us and placing her hands on my shoulders.

"A patient." I gulped, waiting for her to blow up.

"Oh my god Ember, does he have like cancer or something?" Her face immediately twisted from happiness and excitement to worry.

"No no no, nothing like that." I quickly calmed her down.

"He needed a simple procedure to get his appendix removed, today marks 2 weeks since he got the surgery and he feels that's he's ready to drive."

"Oh my god." Her jaw dropped.

"What?!" I instantly panicked.

"You're going on a date!" She screaming, jumping up and down.

"Come on, we have to get back so we can get you ready." She pulled my arm, us beginning to run the way of my grandmas house.

"When the car had hit us everything happened so fast, but then it all happened so slow after that. I tried to move my body, tried screaming for my mom and help, but it never worked. Nothing came out and my body didn't move." I began, my nails digging into the arms of the chair.

"In that moment I thought I was going to die, I thought that I was going to bleed out right then and there and I'd never get to see my little sister again."

" And in that moment when I realized exactly how powerless I was, I gave up. I gave up fighting for my life. I gave up praying to a god I no longer believe in to have my mother be safe. And so I sat there, I sat there waiting to die. In that moment it's like everything in my life was gone and I wasn't me anymore."

I looked up at Natasha, scanning her facial expressions for some kind of reaction or sympathy that everyone gave me when the subject was brought up. But instead she stared at me, as if waiting for me to continue.

"Continue." She motioned.

"That's all." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"That's never all, now explain to me what happened to you when you were rescued." She leaned back in her chair, pushing her glasses farther up her nose.