Disney Got It Wrong

Chapter 1

Single parenting is hard.

My typical weekday morning starts with a lot of yelling down the hall to my 11-year-old daughter to get her shoes on and a lot of pleading with my 6-year-old son to please keep his on. As you can imagine, both feats can prove difficult to accomplish.

My daughter, Breslin, isn't a morning person. She grumbles about being up and about at 5:30 A.M. from the time I coax her awake until we walk out the door and pile into my Tahoe. Let's face it. She gets it honestly. I'm not a morning person either. I hate mornings. I can't properly function until I've been thoroughly caffeinated and had a few moments to compose myself and mentally prepare myself for the day. My son, Isaac, on the other hand, is a morning person. His little energetic brain wakes up firing on all cylinders with no warm up time, and random pokemon and dinosaur facts roll out of his mouth with barely a pause as he follows me around the house to a chorus of "yeah" and "mhmm" and "wow" and the occasional "That's awesome buddy!"

"And Mama?" he repeated for what felt like the 107th time as I moved around the kitchen grabbing snacks and tossing them into backpacks.

"Yeah, buddy?" I replied for the 108th time.

"Um, did you know that the first Dilophosaurus fossil was found in Arizona? That's in the US!"

"No, buddy. I didn't know that," I said with well-practiced awe. "That's kind of awesome."

"I know right!" he exclaimed as I handed him his backpack and he slung it over on his back. "Please, Mama, can we go to Arizona and see it one day?"

"Isaac, buddy, that fossil was probably moved to some museum a long time ago right after it was found."

"Then can we find out where it is and go see it?" he pleaded while I poured a second round of coffee into a tumbler and suppressed a laugh at his innocent enthusiasm.

"Do you really just have to see the very first Dilophosaurus ever uncovered?"

"Well, no," he shrugged. "I guess any Dilophosaurus fossil will be fine. But, Mama, I have to see one. Can we, please?"

I pursed my lips and walked around the counter to give him a hug. "I suppose we could take a trip one day to see some dinosaur bones."

"Not just any bones, though Mama," he corrected me. "They have to have Dilophosaurus bones. Because that's my favorite dinosaur right now."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, son. That's all you've been talking about for days now. I feel like I know almost as much about it as you do."

"But no one knows as much as me, right Mama?"

"Nobody that I know anyway."

"Right, because I'm the kid dinosaur expert!"

"You sure are." I laughed as I let him go and turned to grab my coffee and car keys off the counter. "Now, that's enough dino facts for the morning. We have to get going before you two are late for school. I'm going to go start the car and you go see what your sister is doing and tell her to hurry up for me."

"Yes ma'am!"

Isaac gave me a little salut before he turned and ran down the hall at top speed yelling at Breslin, "Mama said hurry up or we'll be late for school!"

Roughly forty-five minutes later Breslin was dropped off at the elementary school and Isaac was just whisked out of the car at the primary school. Once I was finally making my way around the parking lot and out onto the highway in my Tahoe and driving away, I sighed and finally relaxed my shoulders.

There was an empty juice box in one cup holder and a half eaten pop tart with a second untouched pop tart in the wrapper laying on my back seat. I knew there was a juice box in my back floor board somewhere and a half eaten cup of yogurt snacks with a few snacks spilled out somewhere in the same vicinity. But the kids were decent and off to school, and I managed it all on time by the skin of my teeth as is the case most mornings.