oh captain! my captain! | barnes

cold and dead.

[FINAL]

-

The skies were crying that day. He remembers it distinctly. He liked to think they cried for her, and for the her no one knew but him.

Bucky had walked to the cemetery. He needed time and space, to think and rethink and remember and forget.

Newspapers stuck themselves to the New York streets. Everyone went their ways in their own worlds. The headlines on every paper across the nation stated things like, "Villainess Dead, Winter Walks" , "She Got What Was Coming" , "Winter is Named Hero" , or "Clerk's Family Can Finally Sleep".

Bucky clutched a black umbrella in his metal hand. The hand that matched hers.

He reached the cemetery as the procession began. He had helped with the casket. It was a small procession. The Avengers, him, and the two women with the cat.

He'd made sure the letter she gave him a lifetime ago was clutched against her chest. He wasn't able to see her face after he left the crime.

The priest spoke empty words as the coffin was rested into the dirt. Steve kept a watchful eye on Bucky, but Bucky couldn't move his stormy eyes from her black casket. Her soulless body lay just beneath the polished wood.

He couldn't help but remember the better times. Her laugh, her smile, her knowledge and wit, her attitude, her fire... The love she gave so freely. It was a completely different person from the one he killed.

He had to do it. She was dangerous. She was an unsteady murderer.

And he still loved her.

The procession thinned out. Natasha and Steve remained with him. Umbrellas opened over head.

"You going to be okay?" Natasha asked, watching his stubbly face and creased forehead.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I think I need some time. A break, or something..."

"Take all the time you need," Steve stated. Natasha bowed away, leaving after the rest. "You call me if something comes up, got me?"

"Yeah," Bucky nodded. He was still unable to look at his friend. Steve began to take his leave when Bucky called his attention back, watching Steve in the eyes:

"Thank you. For everything, I mean it. You know that, right?"

"I know, Buck. Don't hesitate."

"I won't." Steve left.

Bucky took a long, hard look at her grave and stone. Vibrant orchids and lilies rested on her grave. Bucky spoke lowly, in case anyone was listening, "I'm sorry, Audrey. I am. I don't think I'll be able to get past this, I don't think I should. But I love you, I'll always love you," and weakly he uttered the last word, "Ace."

He cemented the moment to memory. He held his umbrella just a little tighter and left.

"Oh Captain, My Captain..."

-

Thank you all so very much for reading. I'm so happy to share this with you and so proud to be saying we made it all the way through. Thank you for your time, votes, comments, reads, and support!