oh captain! my captain! | barnes

breath

Bucky lay on the operation table.

The transaction went smoothly, and there was blood in his veins.

The original doctor's job was the biggest of all: to bring him back. But before he dared to start the defibrillator, he examined him closely.

The doctor took his time, then looked around the room at the moving workers.

"He's alive," he uttered the phrase so quietly, no one heard at first. They simply carried on with preparation. He said it louder, "He's alive."

They all stopped and the room was quiet, "He didn't die. He's just in extreme shock."

Everyone looked at the doctor as if he were a mad scientist, as if he were the crazy Doctor Frankenstein himself. How could a collapsed heart and hemorrhage victim still be alive?

The doctor began to address a shock situation, warming the room to body temperature and fanning the small spark of hope that was left.

"Well are you going to help me?" he was frantic, trying desperately to save a life while everyone watched, bewildered.

The blood doctor began to help; bringing tools and requested items. Soon everyone aided the mad scientist in bringing Bucky back to a stable condition.

Within two hours, Bucky was breathing regularly with aid. He was in a coma, just below average temperature, and horribly famished.

He was transferred to a normal hospital room.

The female doctor, whose name was Kim, was left to attend to the man with every medical need. She was also to alert the head doctor if the soldier should awaken.

The head doctor entered the waiting room.

"Miss Rolf, Captain, this way," he guided them down the pedestrian hallway which connected to the other hospital wings.

"Bucky's alive," he started, Audrey felt her face flush with relief, "He's just about stable. But he's in a coma due to blood loss and shock. You are more than welcome to wait in the room until, or if, he wakes up. Visiting hours are from eight in the morning to eight at night."

He stopped at the door, number 0324. She felt a weight on her chest: that was her identification number.

The doctor opened the door and left them to their private manners.

"Hey buddy," Steve said to Bucky's sleeping body as if it was a normal conversation. He sat in the armchair and looked at him as if Bucky was looking back at him. "I'm so glad you're not dead," he chuckled, "Audrey's really sorry. She didn't mean to do it, you know how it is. We can't wait for you to come back though, so come back soon."

It was all normal to Steve. Maybe, she thought, maybe he wanted someone to talk to him whilst he was in his coma. Perhaps Steve thought of how lonely the HYDRA 'comas' were for his super soldier friend (and Audrey for that matter).

"Audrey you want to talk to him?"

She hadn't realized she was standing right beside the closed door, barely in the room. He was smiling, though his eyes were not. He was scared, scared his friend wouldn't come back. Or that it would take forever for him to come back like it had for him.

She walked, without a word, to her Bucky.

"Hey Buck," she started, standing and reaching for his hand. She touched the fingers and they were warm, she smiled sadly at them, "I'm really sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. Trust me, I'd never want to hurt you."

She sniffled, and felt Steve's watch on her, "I love you, Bucky. I always did. And I think when we were fighting out there," she looked at the ceiling for the briefest moment too ward of tears, "I think deep down we still loved each other. I'm sorry, Bucky."

She wiped her eyes quickly with her good hand, the right one.

"It's okay, you know?" She looked at Steve when he said those few words, "It's alright to be weak."

"No it's not. You're supposed to be strong for those who can't be," she protested.

"And what about you? Maybe someone else is supposed to be strong for you," he looked at Bucky's closed eyes.

"He was strong for me, all this time. And now I have to be strong for him," she looked back at Bucky and put her hand in her pocket, "I should go."

She took one last look at the man she loved in the bed, he may never wake up. And who's to say she should be there when, or if, he does?

She hurried out of the hospital, and down the streets of New York. She ignored pedestrian stares, and whispers of what she'd done: killed a chief and tried to kill the Avengers' friend, how she's a danger to them all.

She somehow, from a distant memory, got back to the apartment HYDRA got for her. She busted the door in and pocketed the car keys. She grabbed the duffel bag of supplies and left quickly.

She found the truck and threw the stuff into the passenger seat before starting the car. She drove away quickly.

She made her way out of town, and found a rural suburb. She searched every house window from her car until she found a certain plot of land.

She parked the truck beside a beaten down barn and went to the house, with the duffel bag over her shoulder. It didn't take much to open the door, and once inside she discovered the home to be abandoned.

The furniture was all there, just old and beaten down from weather and animalistic visitors.

It looked as if the family moved out fifteen to twenty years prior, she wondered why for a moment before disregarding the irrelevant thought.

She set the duffel bag on a couch and searched the home for cleaning supplies of some kind.

After discovering a broom and mop, she went to work cleaning the dirtied floors. Audrey then pulled useless or too-far-gone furniture out to the curb some blocks down so that it wouldn't arouse suspicion.

She searched for animals, and luckily found none. She found insects in the faulty floorboards and sprayed them with a forgotten Raid canister.

It was as close to home as she would get.