A/N: I again do not own TVD, I just own the Reynolds family
18 years after the "merge"
Kai and I have been stuck together, alone in this God forsaken prison world with no way of escape. Or at least we had no way to escape, but now there is a little Bennet witch and a slightly attractive vampire here with us. Kai and I have been watching them since they arrived, and we think today is the best day to show ourselves. I can't wait to get out of here, I'm going to kill my family, make sure Kai is the new Gemini leader, then kill the man that sent us here. Oh lookie, tall dark and dead came back into the store, I hide behind the liquor aisle, waiting for my que.
"Rough day, huh Damon. Sorry, manners I'm Kai. Nice to meet you, Pork rind?" Kai says and offers Damon one of his favorite snacks. Ugh, that man and Pork rinds. Kai then sits back and loudly chews on his rinds.
"That is going to have to stop" Damon says annoyed.
"Oh, you think this is annoying? Try listening to you and Bonnie bicker every 5 mins." He says back and continues to eat.
"So you've been following us?" Damon asks angrily, of course we have you idiot.
"Of course I have, you two are the closest thing I have to TV. I mean you're no Baywatch, but... remember Baywatch?" And there he goes again being sidetracked.
"No, I do not" Damon says hoping to end the conversation.
"Oh. Oh, man, you gotta watch it. You like lifeguards like, hot ones?" Kai says causing me to raise my eyebrow.
"This has been a monumentally bad day in a sea of bad days, so I'm gonna need to know who you are and how it relates to me or I'm gonna rip your throat out" Damon says frustrated, you hurt him I kill you.
"Temper's gonna get you in trouble, Damon" Kai says knowing I will kill Damon. "It's already driven away Bonnie how many times? Oh, Oh, Oh wait I know. Thirteen!"
"You think my temper's bad with her? I like her. You? Not so much." Damon says and grabs Kai by the collar and lifts him up.
"Okay, okay. Sorry, seriously. I'm just kinda rusty on the face-to-face type of human interaction." Damon is satisfied and lets him go.
"Answers, now" Damon says and walk to the Bourbon.
"Maybe you should have a drink, that usually calms you down." Kai stalls and signals for me to get ready.
"Thanks"
"And makes you angry, and sad, the calm again. It's a weird cycle. An look if you really wanna know the reason I'm following you" Damon takes a drink of Bourbon.
"It's because we want to kill you" I say and come out. As I say this Damon falls to the ground coughing, from vervain.
"Vervain in your bourbon" Kai says as I walk to him.
"Who didn't see that coming?" I ask mockingly and kiss Kai's cheek. With Damon on the ground in pain, Ki continues to talk about nonsense.
"Who buys patio furniture at a grocery store? I mean, somebody must, otherwise it wouldn't be here, but" Kai says and grabs an umbrella. "Now, I'm a little unfamiliar with vampires" he then breaks the umbrella "but from what I've gathered a stake to the heart should do it." Damon tries to get some leverage, but Kai stakes his hand.
"You always fight dirty, Damon. Like the time you and Bonnie played Monopoly and you stole money from the bank, not cool" I bend down and say to him. Kai lets him get up.
"I'm gonna rip your heads off" he says still in pain.
"No, no you're not" Kai says back and as Damon charges at him, he hits all of the bottles of alcohol hitting Damon as they break.
"We didn't know which bottle you'd take so I vervained them all" I say watching him wither in pain. Kai lifts the umbrella ready to kill when...
"Tay away from him" BonBon says, finally.
"The useless one is here, thank God" Kai says mockingly.
"We've watched you try to do magic for months now. What are you gonna do, fail at us." I say to her trying to get her mad. "It's embarrassing, we're embarrassed for you." As Kai goes in for the kill Bonnie lights a candle with magic.
"Uh-oh" in reality we mean Oh-yes.
Bonnie looks at Damon and says, "Run." She then says, Phasmatos Incendia. Fire then surrounds Kai and I.
"Okay" Kai says trying to pretend to surrender.
"Giving up so soon, I'm embarrassed for you." Damon then comes behind us and knock us out.
*Later that day*
I start to wake up and find myself tied to a chair, along side Kai.
"You're awake, good. Now for the Q and A portion of the evening." Damon says holding Pork rinds and a poker.
"Let me guess, I answer correctly I get a Pork rind, wrong I get a poker." Kai says smugly.
"What? No, no, no these are for me. You two just get the poker" Damon responds and pokes us for emphasis.
"You don't have to do that, we're on the same team" I tell them.
"Really" Bonnie says and walks over to me. "Do you always try to kill your teammates?" She asks accusingly. Kai decides to interrupt then, probably safest as I would have revealed the truth if she came any closer.
"The important thing is the Bonnie has her magic back. It worked. What you didn't really think I'd kill Damon did you? In what universe does that make sense?" Kai laughs. "We wouldn't kill one fourth of our population, we're not monsters." He tells them.
"We knew Bonnie would show up. She always comes back, all 13 times. We knew with the right motivation she'd be able to access her magic." I then explain. "Although, we did get worried with all your bickering that Damon's life wouldn't be enough motivation."
"So you did all that just to make sure I'd have my magic?" Bonnie says not believing us.
"Of course we did, because your magic is the key to getting the hell out of here." I say for dramatic emphasis.
YOU ARE READING
Another Sociopath (Kai Parker)
Fanfiction"Who names their kids Malachai and Nimue" Kia says. "It's like they expected us to be evil" I finish. "All these kids were murdered" witchy girl argues "Hello, not all of them died" Kia says back. "He had a soft spot for one of his sister, otherwise...
