Broken Fangirl [m.c]

Chapter Thirty One

[a/n: I just realized maybe a trigger warning needs to be here, there's a few anxious & depressing thoughts Eli goes through so I'm sorry if you cannot read that. Also you may have to reread the past few chapters to remember since I'm a piece of crap & haven't updated in 4 months. Stay strong. I love you all.]

I'd been in the hospital for a few days now, and my (legal) parents were finally getting into Australia. They'd be here any minute, and my anxiety is through the roof. I know they're going to freak out, and it's gonna freak me out. We're all gonna be freaking out.

I haven't slept more than an hour at a time because I keep having night terrors about the wreck. I feel like I saw my own body ejecting from the truck from third-person. I just keep replaying it and replaying it, knowing I shouldn't be here. Honestly, maybe I'm better off dead. I'm causing so much anxiety for the boys, medical expenses I cannot pay and overall ruining everyone's life. I'm just a waste.

You can't even keep a job.

You're worthless.

What are you doing with your life? Nothing.

Michael doesn't even love you. Why do you think he cheated on you in the first place?

You're ugly.

You're fat.

You're useless.

You should've died in that accident.

"Hey baby, did you get some rest?" Michael said, entering the room.

"Not really." I sighed.

"What's the matter?" He asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"It's alright. I'll be fine." I slightly smiled.

"Honey, tell me. Nobody else is here, it's just you and me. I'm here to listen."

"I can't quit replaying the crash and my mind has never been this terrible." I said.

"I love you, you know that? You're gonna get through this. I promise. I'm not leaving your side, either." He smiled.

"You have the tour to get back to. You have other priorities."

"You're the most important thing in my life." He said.

"Even more important than your career? Your future, Michael?" I said, starting to tear up.

You're not a priority to him. He deserves better. There's plenty of other, prettier, better girls out there dying to have him.

"Eli, you are my future." He said.

Those words cut through all my depressing thoughts. For the first time in awhile I felt like I was actually believing what he said to me, I felt worth it for just a second.

"What if you have something better waiting for you?" I asked.

"There isn't anybody better than you. You are my future. You're the one for me, Eli."

We kissed, but only for a split second, because there was a knock on the door.

"Hey guys." I smiled.

"Oh goodness honey. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm sorry we couldn't be here sooner." Lisa, aka stand in mom, said.

"It's alright mom. I'm okay now, they gave me a ton of painkillers." I chuckled.

Gotta stay strong, for them.

"The doctors said they had more to tell us once we got here. They should be in soon. How ya doin' pumpkin?" Jim, aka stand in Dad, asked.