Those Brown Eyes

V. Off a Cliff

You must be truly heartless; to hear a song that reminds you of me and not feel a thing. Or to kiss another girl, the taste unfamiliar on your tongue, and actually enjoy it because it makes you forget about the way that I taste.

What did I do to you that fucked you up so badly? Was it the way my hair smelled, or my stupid, obnoxious laugh? Or maybe you liked all of those things about me, but you began to grow tired of them, all my idiosyncrasies, all my flaws.

Darling, perhaps I was never worth it in the first place and you were just lying to yourself and to me to make us both feel better.

You stole one of my hair ties a month after we met, and instead of getting angry I just laughed and said that I loved you.

Love makes you do stupid things and I don't just want you to be my first love I want you to be my only love, because how cheap is it if the very thing that made you can expire so quickly?

My heart lurches every time I see a photo of you, and I'm afraid that one day it will leap completely out of my chest and run straight to where you are.

Maybe I'm meant to be in pain, since that's where art comes from, after all and art is all I can seem to do these days. I haven't been the same since October and maybe that's a good thing, because we grow from our mistakes; but I don't really see you as a mistake, so what am I really growing from?

In the end, though, it all boils down to the fact that I loved you more than anything else in the entire world, but my brain can't even tell the difference between my love and yours even though you're the one who gave up on us.

In the entire English language there isn't a stronger word for love, and I think that's profound. Only one thing can be love, yet so many others can be mistaken for it. Why is that? Because most people settle for less, they settle for lust, for desire, for affection. Love is not simply a feeling, love is a state of being, and once you understand that you will never settle for anything less ever again.

Thank you to everyone who has voted, commented, and read these poems! It means so much to me. xx