Those Brown Eyes

XIII. A Fable

"Hey." You Facebook messaged me on August 20, 2017 at 11:30 p.m. after six months of complete silence.

It's amazing how a simple, three-letter word can cause me to feel so many things at once; anxiety for the things left unsaid, anger for the words that were said, excitement for the hopeful future, and confusion for the out of the blue way you approached me.

I type several sentences before I can finally decide to reply back with the same three-letter word. I wait for four and a half minutes, just staring at my phone screen until those three dots pop up.

I anxiously tap my foot until my phone pings, stopping myself as soon as I hear it. Why am I so nervous? I spent a year with you, in love with you.

11:34 p.m. "What's up?"

I chew on my lip, a nervous habit I rediscovered when we stopped talking.

What's up? What a cliché thing to say; and after six months, we are back to this.

What's up is that I have scars that weren't there when we were together--physical and emotional. What's up is that I am back in the very house that you worked so hard to get me out of. What's up is that I lock my bedroom door every night because I'm afraid of what could enter. What's up is that my heart still doesn't belong to me, and it stopped belonging to me the day I met you.

11:40 p.m. "In bed." I reply.

I have to take things slow, knowing it took you this long just to get to a place where you wanted to try to repair our friendship. I have to take things slow and put aside what I really feel because I could scare you off again; but this time you won't come back again. 

My heart is pounding inside my chest and there is no way I'm breathing right again any time soon. I have to reign myself in, I know that. I can't get attached too much too fast, not again.

11:42 p.m. "Same."

My heart races faster, and I sit up. What if...

11:45 p.m. "Can we start over?"

11:50 p.m. "I'm sorry."

11:51 p.m. "No, don't apologize. Just...yes or no."

Those three dots stay on my screen for a long time, and my hope starts to diminish.

August 21, 2017. 12:00 a.m. "Hey. I think I remember you."

Tears fill my eyes, immediately overflowing and splashing onto my phone screen. Nostalgia overcomes me and I close my eyes, thinking back to the day we met. 

12:01 a.m. "Yeah, I remember you too. You're in my English class."

12:02 a.m. "Why did I ever leave you?"

12:03 a.m. "Why did I ever let you?"

April 1st marked six months since you left and I'm feeling all sorts of things.

August 21st, 2015 is the day that I met him btw. I just thought it would be kinda cool if I incorporated that idk. And also the last bit with the English class was the actual start of our conversation..just if that didn't make sense which it probably didn't lol sorry

P.S. is this even considered poetry? Oh well, I wrote something, yay.

P.P.S. this really kinda sucks lmao I'm tired and I didn't edit it too thoroughly, but it is what it is. xx