What is it like to be hurt beyond belief? I'm sure everyone has fallen off a bike before, or slipped off the monkey bars as a kid. It's hard to get back up and do it again isn't it? You're scared to get hurt again, you're scared to fall again; but it isn't the fall that kills you, it's when you hit the ground that causes the pain.
You want to know what it's like to be hurt beyond belief? Well, I'll tell you.
After he left, I found it impossible to fall for another man the way I did for him. Every time I started to get close I cut all ties and burned myself a little closer to the end.
When someone breaks your heart the way he broke mine, you spend a period of time locked inside yourself. You don't sleep, you don't eat right, you can barely breathe because he's all that you can think about. However long this amount of time lasts is up to you, but after it's over you will reach a point where you are able to drag yourself out of bed and muddle through life.
It doesn't hurt any less, though, and soon you are trying to find ways to fill that gaping hole in your heart where he used to be. You self medicate, sleep with every guy you see to try and erase his touch; it doesn't work, you see him everywhere.
You'll finally start casually seeing a guy, telling him that you will make no promises as long as you two are together. The last time promises were made, they were all shattered before your very eyes.
Feelings will start to find their way to you, and you'll spook because you told yourself that it wouldn't happen again. You'll break it off with him, and he'll be confused since he kept his word about promises and in his mind there is no reason for your fear. He's never been hurt before, you see it then in his blissfully unaware eyes as you make up some bullshit reason for walking away.
Back to square one, and it hurts just as much as it did when he first said the words "I'm leaving you." The cycle is unending, your self-worth is declining.
Will love ever come?
Hey, sorry it's been a while and this is kind of short. I'm working on several poems atm but it's a question of me getting around to finishing them. 💕
YOU ARE READING
Those Brown Eyes
Poetry"Love makes you do stupid things and I don't just want you to be my first love I want you to be my only love, because how cheap is it if the very thing that made you can expire so quickly?" --Off a Cliff
