Those Brown Eyes

XI. Story of the Broken One

The first time you lay eyes on him, you will feel like your whole world is being reset from the way it used to be. Your heart will freeze—literally freeze—in your chest and you won't be able to look away from those captivating eyes.

Falling in love will come swiftly for you. It will crawl through the crevices of the walls you've built up without you realizing it, but you will welcome it with open arms because it's been so long since you've felt this way.

When you hear his goofy laugh for the first time after you tell him a joke, you will want to kiss him so badly; but you don't because the timing isn't right.

When you finally do kiss, it will be the best one you will ever have. Sparks will fly, and you will fall deeper in love than you ever thought possible.

There will be times when you see him while you're waiting for him outside of his work—and you will want to kiss him straight on the mouth so that all their co-workers will know that he's yours.

But then he will break your heart, and your whole world will cave in. Your heart will freeze in your chest again, and not like the first time, this time it will feel like you're dying, suffocating.

You will beg him to stay, to fight for the love you once shared. He will slip through your fingers, spiraling down into the very same black hole that he saved you from. Except you can't save him, he doesn't want to be saved.

You will spend nights sleepwalking to your liquor cabinet, drinking straight from the bottle with your eyes wide open, unseeing. The air will feel colder even though it's summer, the colors dull. You will wonder what it was that you did wrong, but you can never come up with a solution even when you're hurling your phone at the wall.

The first time you see him after he breaks up with you, your muscles will tense up and your palms will become clammy. He will look straight at you but act as if he doesn't know you, not looking away until you are out of his view as if he wants to torture you as much as possible. Tears will flow down your face as you walk away, and it will take everything inside you not to turn around and beg for him to tell you something.

A few weeks later you will go up to him, heart pounding so hard inside you that you can hear it. You will tell him that you miss him, that you still love him, but he will just shake his head as if he has no idea who you are; just a stranger in his book.

You will go home and drink until you can't feel a damn thing, until you don't even know who you are anymore, and when you wake up, you will let yourself feel the hangover full-on. It will make you feel alive.

The next time you see him, he is with another girl. He isn't in love with her, no, but he's holding her hand, which is enough to bring you to tears (that hand was yours!). You will stay and watch them for a while, heart breaking all over again.

And lastly, you will wonder why he has moved on so quickly and why you're still crying on your bathroom floor. You will wonder why you had to meet him in the first place.

Thank you everyone for reading! xx