October 7, 2016 10:10 a.m.
You're ten feet away from me now, and I'm wishing I never had coffee today for two reasons; one, my stomach doesn't like it even though I sure do, and two, my nervous system feels like it's about to go into overdrive.
You're right there. You don't see me yet. And I can't make myself go talk to you.
Wait, you just noticed me, but you still won't talk to me. You always have been stubborn, and I suppose you will always be that way.
No, I can't cry. I'm not allowed to cry until I'm home.
I think you saw me looking at you. Still, radio silence. Is it going to be like this forever? From now on I'm going to have to get used to this? Is it true I have to really let you go, for real this time?
I really do hope you're as miserable as me right now, and I know that's horrible but I can't help it.
You did ruin me, completely and totally. I'm ready to accept death.
You won't even look at me, damnit! Did I ever mean anything to you? Or was I just a waste of both our time? I can't let go of you, and I probably never will.
I feel like I might faint, but there's nothing I can do about that. I honestly hope I do. Maybe then you'd notice me.
God, stop pretending you don't see me! Or maybe I'm just that invisible.
I'm going to go talk to you--no, I can't. All you'll do is tell me to leave; that would kill me. I can't go through that. I can't feel that pain again.
The attached song is my current mood.
This is raw, straight from my journal.
YOU ARE READING
Those Brown Eyes
Puisi"Love makes you do stupid things and I don't just want you to be my first love I want you to be my only love, because how cheap is it if the very thing that made you can expire so quickly?" --Off a Cliff
