FOUND [COMPLETED]

XXVIII

"Beyoncé?" I slowly turned away from the window and looked at Jay. "We're home baby."

"Don't say baby." I whispered. My vision became blurry and I knew I was about to start crying again.

Jay nodded and opened his door, climbing out the car. I sat still as he walked around to my side and opened my door, looking at me sadly.

"Stop looking at me like that." I snapped softly. "It's fine."

"It's not ba– Bey." Jay leaned forward and angled his head to look into my eyes. I quickly closed them. "Beyoncé...."

"Just leave me alone Jay." I choked out, hiding my face in my hands as I tried desperately to hold back my sobs. My heart was broken. I couldn't believe I lost my baby.

I felt Jay's arms wrap around my body before he pulled me into his chest. "Let it out." He breathed against my ear, and I lost it. "I got you, Bey. We're gonna be okay." Jay spoke to me in a soft tone as I sobbed into his neck. "It wasn't time for us to have a baby again, and that's ok. These things happen, Beyoncé. I'm heartbroken too, I'm so heartbroken. For us and our kids, and our family. But we're going to be okay. When the time comes, we'll be ready."

"It just hurts so bad," I whimpered, gripping tightly onto Jay's shirt. "It hurts. Why did this have to happen?"

"I know. I know," Jay cooed, pressing his lips against my forehead repeatedly. I sobbed louder as he held onto me tightly. "We keep losing people man, and I don't know why. I know God always has a plan, but I don't understand this one." Jay sighed, stroking my back. "I was just at my boy's funeral a few days ago, and now this."

"How are we supposed to tell the girls? Or our family?" I asked through my tears. I completely forgot that our family knew I am– I was pregnant. I knew my mama would be heartbroken, and so would Blue. The thought of explaining that the baby's gone to my baby girl made me cry harder.

"We'll figure it out." Jay assured me. I shook my head and tried to get my breathing under control before I caused myself to have a panic attack. Jay kissed the side of my head and gently massaged the back of my neck.

"You ready to go inside?" Jay asked after several moments of silence. I sighed and reluctantly removed myself from his arms, opening the mirror to try and clean myself up. I didn't want my mother or my girls to know that I'd been crying.

I silently climbed out the car and held onto Jay's hand tightly as we walked inside our building. Thankfully we have a private entrance to get into our penthouse through the parking garage, so I didn't have to worry about running into the paparazzi. I'm not in the right state of mind, and I knew I might react differently than usual if someone pushed my buttons today.

"Beyoncé!" Mama exclaimed as Jay and I walked into the living room. I forced a smile and hugged my mother while she talked Jay and I's ears off. "How was your appointment baby? Everything good?" She asked, resting her hand on my stomach.

"Mama T, can I talk to you for a second?" Jay asked, glancing at me as I struggled to hold back my tears.

"Sure baby." Mama nodded and stepped away from me. I walked over to the window and held my arms around myself protectively, blankly staring out at the city. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as a few tears fell down my face.

I heard my mother gasp and immediately tensed. I didn't want her pity or sympathy right now. I was getting enough of it from Jay, and while I appreciated him putting his own feelings aside to comfort me, I could only take so much. I was devastated and heartbroken, but I wasn't going to break.