FOUND [COMPLETED]

XXXIV

Beyoncé

I felt Julez's arms wrap around me as I cried into my hands. Being rejected by my babies was some of the worst pain I've ever felt, especially knowing the hell I've put them through. I didn't expect them to forgive me easily, but I was hoping I would at least have the opportunity to speak with them. Blue couldn't even look at me for two minutes without crying. I was a terrible mother.

"Don't cry, Auntie." Julez laid his head against mine and rubbed my arm. "It's okay."

I shook my head, turning to lay my head against Julez's chest. My thirteen year old nephew shouldn't have to comfort me the way he was, but I was too distraught to send him away. Jay wasn't here, and I needed someone to lean on. "She hates me." I cried softly.

"Nah, she doesn't. I promise she doesn't. We were talking about it earlier." Julez tried to assure me. "Her and Bella are just in a weird place right now, cause, you know....."

I nodded, sniffling as I wiped my face. "Can you go get her for me? Please baby." I asked after sitting up straight and getting myself together. Julez nodded and hugged me again before stepping back.

"I'll be back." He stated before leaving the room. I grabbed the water off of the beside table and drank the remainder of it quickly. Crying always left me dehydrated.

A few minutes later, Julez returned with Blue by his side. She wouldn't look at me. I sighed and looked up at my nephew. "Can you give us a minute, honey?" I asked him.

Julez glanced down at Blue and frowned a little before nodding. "Yeah....sure." He patted Blue's head before turning around and walking out. I waited for the door to shut before focusing back on my baby.

"Blue Blue, can we talk?" I asked softly. Blue shrugged her shoulders and I bit my lip. This was going to be difficult. "Please baby. I really need to talk to you." I pleaded.

Blue slowly looked up at me. "You don't like me anymore." She replied flatly.

I stared at her sadly. "Of course I do, baby. I love you."

"No you don't." Blue sniffled. My heart was broken. I was doing everything in my power to keep myself from crying. I would not break down right now, I had to focus on Blue.

"Yes I do, Blue. You know I do. You're my world, baby." I waited for Blue to look back at me, but she wouldn't. I sighed. "Can mommy hold you, baby girl?" I asked, desperately wanting to be near my baby. I needed to be near her. I was going absolutely insane.

To my surprise, Blue walked over to my bedside and climbed on top of me without my assistance. She still wouldn't look directly at me, but I could handle that. I just wanted to hold her, I missed her so much. She was my best friend.

I wrapped my arms around Blue's small frame and held her against me. Blue was tense at first, but slowly began to relax as I rubbed her back and kissed her head repeatedly. "Mommy's so sorry, baby girl. I'm so, so sorry."

Blue hid her face in my neck and didn't respond. I continued to rub her back.

"I've been awful to you without even realizing it. You didn't deserve the way I've been treating you, nobody deserves that. I can't apologize enough." I sighed and laid my head against Blue's. "You're my baby, you mean the world to me. I just hope you can forgive me, whenever you're ready. I love you so much."