FOUND [COMPLETED]

XLIII

Beyoncé

"What do you mean she went home?" My mother asked. I sighed and took a seat at the table.

"She's going back to New York with Jay, mama. I don't blame her either. I said some things I shouldn't have and she overheard." I told her.

Kelly looked at me and I nodded. "Oh shit." She said. Mama hit Kelly upside the head and she yelped. "Ouch!"

"Shut up girl." Mama rolled her eyes. She looked at me. "What did you say?"

"Mama–"

"What did you say?" My mother repeated. I sighed.

"We'll let y'all talk." Kelly said. She grabbed Michelle and they left.

I looked at my mom. "Don't hit me." I said.

"Beyoncé."

I groaned. "I...might've suggested that my life wasn't as complicated before Bella came back." I mumbled. A few seconds later I felt a sting in my cheek and winced. "Ow, mama." I whined.

"Are you kidding me Beyoncé! Why the hell would you say that?!" My mother yelled.

"I was angry and upset, of course I didn't mean it. I know that doesn't justify it." I said. "Bella was never meant to hear what I said. I was talking to Kelly because she was helping me clean Blue's cut and I was ranting, I didn't even realize it. I feel awful, I just keep fucking up." I held my head in my hands and sighed. "I just want my baby back." I said sadly.

My mother looked at me before shaking her head and leaving the kitchen. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying.

"It's okay Bey." Solange said. I looked at her. "Just give it some time. Mama's just upset right now, but she'll be ok later."

"I guess." I said. "I just keep fucking up and I feel like shit. I don't know what to do about it. Bella and mama hate me and I know Jay isn't the happiest with me."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I don't hate you." Solange smiled. I chuckled.

"Thanks Solo."

"So, have you talked to Bella yet?" She asked. "Like how long ago did she leave?"

"About three hours ago. She should be on the plane right now." I said. "And no I haven't talked to her yet."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Jay will let me know when she's with him, just so my mind is at ease. I still don't like the idea of her flying by herself but she's sixteen and I know I have to let up a little." I said. "She can't stay my three year old baby forever. I have to let her grow up, and I'm struggling with it."

Solange grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad you're realizing it. I think part of the problem with y'all's relationship is that you want to have her on one of them tight leashes white people be putting on their kids in public." She said. I laughed and shook my head. "Nah, but you want to keep her close and I get that, but you gotta do that while allowing her to grow. In a couple years she'll be a legal adult, and that's crazy. You've missed a lot and I think you're trying to make up for those years, but there's really no point. You and her have to find a common ground."