FOUND [COMPLETED]

XXXVII

Beyoncé

I walked into our apartment, tired and drained from therapy. It wasn't even my session, but the emotional toll was much worse than anything I've experienced before. As a mother, you don't really know what pain is until someone hurts your child. It explains so much, but knowing what my baby has dealt with in her short lifetime made me physically sick. I had to leave and run to the restroom, throwing up the contents of my lunch.

I've never wanted to protect my children more, Jay and I were going to be on high alert from now on. I'll have security with both my children at all times, at school, when Bella hangs out with her friends, anywhere. I don't care if I'm doing too much, as long as my babies are safe I won't have to worry 24/7. I probably will anyway, but at least I'll know they're protected.

Jay. Shit. Bella begged for me to tell her father what happened, because she knew we couldn't keep something like this from him, but she didn't want to do it. She's dealt with enough, so I told her I would. I knew it was going to be hell, but what other choice do I have? Jesus, a nap would be great right now. I'm thankful my mother is visiting for the week, so she has Blue right now. That's one less thing I'll have to worry about.

I walked with Bella up to her room and watched her climb into bed. I knew she was exhausted, and her eyes were still puffy from crying. I felt so bad.

I sighed and took a seat beside her.

"You gonna be okay alone while I go speak with your daddy?" I asked, smoothing Bella's hair back with my hand.

She nodded. "Mommy?"

I had to keep myself from smiling too hard.

"Yes baby."

"Can you take a nap with me when you're finished talking to dad?" She asked shyly. "I'm really tired but I think I might have a nightmare cause... you know." She trailed off and I nodded. I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Yeah baby, I can do that. I won't be gone too long, okay?"

"Alright."

"I love you." I kissed her head again. "So, so much."

"Mom, you're just going down the hall. You act like you're leaving the state." Bella laughed and I rolled my eyes. I'm glad her sense of humor hasn't been tainted. "But I love you too."

I got up to leave but Bella stopped me. "Can you bring me back a sandwich?" She asked sweetly.

I sighed. "What kind?" Usually I'd make her get her ass up and make it herself, but I didn't mind babying her today. She needed it, and so did I.

"Grilled cheese."

"Okay." I nodded and walked out. I took my time making my way to our bedroom because this was something I really did not want to do. Jay loved Blue and Bella as much as I did, but believe it or not, he was much more protective. Regarding their friends, where they went, boys- especially boys. I don't know what we're going to do when Bella wants a boyfriend. She's sixteen, so I can see it happening soon, but with Jay? Hell nah.

I sighed. He was going to lose his shit.

I took a deep breath and walked into our bedroom. Jay was laying down on the bed watching basketball on ESPN. Good, he was calm right now. I grabbed the remote and turned it off.