First game ⚣ joshler [✔︎]

thirty four

tylers pov

melanie comes in to the living room in a rush. she looks shocked but kind of relieved.
-JOSH IS IN LA. she screams out. everyone's attention is now at the small girl who's standing in the middle of the living room.
-what's he doing there? dallon asks surprisingly.
-he's with his aunt. i got her number because laura told me that josh turned his phone and everything off. he's really sad. she told us that he has never been this sad probably. the more she talked the more i felt bad. why did i do this? i don't want my little joshy to be sad. i want him to best. i want him to have a good life, with a good person. i don't deserve him and that sucks. i'm being really selfish right now but i love him. i really do.
-tyler are you okay? halsey snaps me back to reality as she whispered those simple words.
-no. i admitted.
-how could i be? i ruined his life. i'll never get him back. i sighed heavily after the last sentence.
-ty, don't give up. you have to fight for him. halsey smiled a sad smile at me.
-yeah i know. but it feels so hopeless, you know?
-i know what you're talking about. but you can't give up. not just yet. i know josh wouldn't want you to give up. she patted my shoulder and went back to hug her girlfriend.

all i wanted to do was hug josh right now. i want to hug him so tight that all his broken pieces get put together. i want to kiss his forehead and tell him just exactly how much i love him, even though you can't say exactly how much infinite is. i want him to know that i will always love and care about him. no matter what. it'll always be him in my mind. no one else.

joshs pov

three days without my love and oh how it hurts. none of my friends has tried to contact me. or maybe by my phone but it's off so..

my aunt has been so nice. she cooks the best food, well not better than tyler's. but it's good. i don't really eat much though, i see no purpose in eating if tyler's not loving me anymore. maybe i'm being selfish but he's everything to me. i need him more than a cigarette needs a lighter. i love him more than my dad loves my mom's food.

my thoughts get interrupted by the telephone calling. i look at my aunt to see if i can answer because it's probably just my mom. she nods in agreement and smile sadly.
-hello?
-oh joshy, it's you! melanie squeals happily.
-mel! i say now a little more happy.
-hey josh. how are you baby? she asks and i can almost feel the sad smile she puts on, even though we're so far away.
-i could've been better. i miss you all. what about you?
-aw joshy. please come home i wanna hug you. we all miss you so much.
-sorry mel.. i can't. i say with a sad voice.
-why not?
-because i can't be there. just the name ohio reminds me of tyler. he could take spooky away mel. now no one can.
-you wanna talk with him? she just asks.
-he's there? i ask a little surprised.
-yeah of course. we're all at his house still. we've been so worried joshie.
-well, then yes. if he wants to of course.
some sort of scrambling is heard then his voice is right there.
-hello? oh how i've missed that voice. it felt like he healed my heart but broke it at the same time.
-hi. i said calmly.
-listen josh i-i'm sorry. i know that i shouldn't have done that over the phone. or at all. he whispers the last sentence but loud enough for me to hear.
-but you deserve someone so much better josh.
-tyler. you're the best. i don't want someone better or whatever. i want you. i admit as a tear roll down my cheek.
-i want you too josh. but, i've made your life miserable. how can you want me? the words broke my heart.
-how could i not want you? i just ask in response.
-that's the silliest question you've ever asked me josh. i'm the reason you're getting beaten up. and i'm the reason that you're in LA right now, crying your eyes out.
-listen tyler.. i don't care if people hate me for loving you. it's not your fault that jenna is a jealous bitch. i would be too, to be honest.
-that's true. but still, if it weren't for me you'd have a great life. it felt like thousands of knifes stabbed me as he continued on talking. how can he think that? he has made my life so much better.
-can i talk to someone else? you clearly don't want to talk to me anymore. hand the phone to dallon or something. i just answer, with tears escaping my eyes furiously.
-wha- josh you're the only one i wanna talk with. i know that i fuck up all the time but you're everything i want. he's now crying too. and it hurts. it really does. before i'm able to respond i break into a sob.
-please come home josh.