First game ⚣ joshler [✔︎]

thirty seven

joshs pov

two years have passed, tomorrow is my birthday. i'm turning 19. i'm not even happy about it, i won't be able to move out with my tyler. he has probably forgotten about me. our relationship ended so drastically. it's scary how everything can just change in a second.

*flashback*

-i'm sorry tyler. you can't heal something you break. i told him, tears rolling down my sad cheeks.
-so.. this is our last goodbye? he asked, looking down at the hem of his shirt, playing with it, trying to hold the tears back. all i did in response was nodding slowly. his tears finally escaped those beautiful eyes of his.
-i'm sorry. i said and walked away.

*end of flashback*

these past 730 days has been the worst. every fucking day has been a nightmare. spooky has gotten louder and he has helpers now. there can come voices at all times and it's always unfamiliar, except for when spooky talks of course. i've also developed an eating disorder. either i don't eat at all or when i eat i throw it up. i dropped out of college because i couldn't take it. i see tyler once in a while, he looks so happy. so incredibly happy i don't even bother to try to talk to him.

this week is always the worst. i haven't been outside in probably two months. i thought i was doing better but then i fell apart. again. the only ones that i even let visit me is melanie and halsey. they make me happier at times, not happy but happier.

i decide to get up from my bed and shower, maybe get out and take a walk if i feel like it afterwards. the shower was pretty short, i didn't wanna torture myself by looking at myself for too long. i hang the towel low on my hips and walk into my room again. i think long about whether i should stay home and read a book or get out and take a walk. after deciding it would be the best for me to get out a bit i put some basic clothes on, black ripped skinny jeans, a black hoodie and a black snapback. i haven't dyed my hair in forever so its back to my natrual hair color, brown.

i walk around in the park, looking at all the small things i would never notice two years ago. i didn't pay attention at all to where i was going. i just walked. suddenly i bumped into someone and fell onto the ground, squeaking at the pain.
-ouch. i'm so sorry, are you okay? i heard a familiar voice say, i looked up to see it was tyler. he looked at me in shock. he grabbed my hand and picked me up quickly.
-i'm so sorry. he said, looking a little panicked.
-no it's okay. i said and forced a fake smile. he laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head lightly. all i could do was stare. he was so handsome.
-you wanna take a walk with me? he asked hesitantly.
-catch up and stuff. he continued on with a small smile.
-sure. i said gladly.

tylers pov

it was nerve wrecking just walking here with him. he wore all black, even though it was a pretty sunny day. he was so thin, his cheekbones peeked out harshly. he almost looked dead, still as cute as before. but he was a mess. anyone could tell that by just looking at him. i was too to be honest. but i would never tell anyone about the sleepless nights and demons hunting me.
-so how have you been? he asked gently, looking at me, almost admiring me.
-good i guess. i lied.
-you? i asked looking at him as well.
-great. he said and smiled.
-you're lying, aren't you? i said, looking at him with a concerned look on my face. all he did was break into a sob. i was there to hug him quickly.
-i'm sorry. he said between his sniffling.
-no, it's okay. i said, trying to comfort him the best i possibly could.
-no its not. he laughed, it was a sad laugh. the kind of laugh that breaks you.
-you wanna go to a cafe and talk about it with a cup of coffee? i asked sadly. he hesitated before nodding.

the rest is history.
end.