Forgetting Love

13

Sophie and Kara tired quickly. They crashed from their sugar high a little after sunset. Isabel is holding a passed out Kara on her lap while I have Sophie. We are sitting in the chairs that were pushed aside while some obnoxious rap song is playing.

It's pretty safe to say that Chris and Joseph are wasted. I lost track of how many cans they each had. What I do know is that they walk wobbly and they have far away looks in their eyes. Like they aren't even here. Which I don't mind because Chris hasn't bothered me since our fight in the hallway.

I start to feel anxious as I realize that it's almost time to escape. I can't wait to get off of this boat. It's kept me prisoner for weeks. All I want to do us go home, but at the same time, I'm nervous. What will everyone think when I get back? What if they feel sorry for me and treat me more different than before? What if they hate me since I got Ryan killed? What will Olivia think about me getting her only sane son killed?

What if something goes wrong tonight?

I start to think of all the bad things that could happen. We could be caught. We could get lost. One of us could get hurt. Maybe Chris will find us before we get help. I'm scared of what could happen on in our escape, but I'm also scared for what happens after.

Maybe they'll never find Chris and I'll have to live in constant fear if him. He could take me again. If he is caught, what happens next? Who have I got left to help me; Ashton, my brothers, Ashley? It'll probably be best if I'm just alone. It seems everyone that is close to me gets hurt in some way. Whether it be physically or emotionally. I just want all the pain to stop. I'll live alone if I have to.

But at the same time, I'm even more afraid of what will happen if I stay here. I already know what Chris wants to do. He made it quite clear of his intentions for tonight on our last wedding day. I need to get out of here. If not, well, I'll be broken. I'll have no hope to continue on with my life. This is the only chance I have, and I'm not wasting it.

I can see the anxiety in Isabel's eyes as well. I can't imagine what this must be like for her. She's been with Joseph for over ten years. This is the only life she has known for a while, but she is still risking it all for the future of her daughters. For me. I couldn't have asked for someone more caring to be here. She needs to get out of here. More than I do, I think. Just so she knows what it is like to live again and so her daughters get the same chance.

I look across the room to see a passed out Joseph. When did that happen? His head hangs lazily to the side and his hand loosely holds a can of beer. He is slouching in a cushioned chair. There is no way that position is comfortable. Chris is no where to be seen, but I saw him hobble his way out of the room about 5 minutes ago. My guess is that he is probably passed out in a similar position to Joseph somewhere.

"What do you think?" I whisper while gently rocking Sophie.

Her doe eyes scan the room, taking in every imperfection about it. She looks sadly upon Joseph, as if she is saying her good bye. Her eyes glass over for a moment, but then she blinks and clears them away. Slowly, she nods, "It's now or never," she says quietly.

We get up careful not to make a sound. I make sure Sophie stays soundly asleep as we silently pad our way through the boat. My flats hardly make any noise against the hard wood floor. Isabel leads the way. I keep looking over my shoulder. I feel at unease right now. I can't wait to be on the life boat miles away from here.

The dark hallway protects our motion, but at the same time it's an enemy. It provides sanctuary to not only us, but for the monsters that hide as well. I wish I knew where Chris's drunken self was. That would make this much less stressful. Not everything is easy, though.