Forgetting Love

1

I take a deep breath, why do I feel so nervous? Mom and I are waiting outside the hospital door patiently. At least she is, I'm about to bolt inside the room. "What's taking so long?" I ask for about the fifth time.

"This isn't exactly something you can rush," Mom says sounding slightly annoyed. "I was in labor with you for about 20 painful hours."

My foot starts to involuntarily tap the ground, "Well how long has it been?"

"Devan called around 8 last night, so it's been about 16 hours."

I sit in silence, I can't believe Ashley has to go through this. The father of the baby, Danny, is in jail. She shouldn't even be having the baby because she was- no, I refuse to think about it. This could have easily been me.

I got off easy, all I have is the memories to deal with. Nothing more will happen to me, my story is finished, but Ashley has a baby to take care of.

She wanted to keep it, no adoptions, and it was to late for an abortion. She's stronger than me, she said, "This baby is just as much me as it is him. No one is taking him or her away from me." I would've took the cowards way out; give the baby up for adoption. I'm to young for a child to hold me down, I have a life to live.

That just shows what kind of person she is though. Wonderful, strong, and caring. I think I'm failing in all three, but everyone else thinks I'm just like Ashley. I wish it were that way, but I already know wishing gets you nothing.

I guess that's part of the reason we are such great friends. We could be sisters, really we could. Devan and Ashley have been getting really close over the past few months.

I've never seen Devan act the way he does with Ashley to anyone else. He's so gentle and kind, it's really cute. He's stuck by Ashley's side the whole time. Not once did he complain about any of her decisions.

I think the best thing about him is how he treats her like the past few months have never happened. He doesn't care who's baby it is, and he loves to joke around instead of act like she's a fragile doll that's already been thrown around. It's good for her, and Devan has really matured.

He's actually in the delivery room right now. He hasn't left her side since her water broke.

My Mom and I aren't the only ones in the waiting area. Ashley's parents, Susan and Andrew, are in here with their younger son, Jaxson, who's around 14 years old. They are a wonderful family, quiet, but kind. Just like Ashley.

Jaxson looks more scared than nervous. His legs are lightly shaking and he keeps messing with his short black hair. He looks at the clock about every five seconds.

They look just as nervous as me. We have all been in here for the past four hours. "She used to think about you," I say without thinking.

Jaxson looks at me confused. "Ashley used to talk about you," I say trying to calm him down. "She missed you the most. She loves you so much, so don't worry about her so much. She's come to far to let anything bad happen. You won't be left alone again, Jaxson."

"You mean that?" He asks, his voice low and shaky.

"100%, so it's ok to calm down."

He nods, takes a deep breath, and relaxes a little. "Thanks," he says weakly.

Mom pats me on the shoulder, while Susan and Andrew look at me grateful. I managed to calm one person down, why can't I do it for myself?

After about another half hour, the door slowly opens to reveal a smiling Devan. "Tyler Reid," he says, "7 pounds, 6 ounces. Healthy baby boy." It's like a while weight is lifted off the room.

Relief washes over me, I release a sigh I've been holding in the past few hours. Devan looks at me proudly, as if he just became a father. "Ash wants to see you, Morgan."

Me? Why not her own family? I look over at them guiltily, but Susan smiles softly, "Go ahead, dear. We can wait," a single tear rolls down her cheek. She looks so much like Ashley, only her black her is grayish and her eyes are blue.

I nod at her, "Thank you." I stiffly get up, that chair was really uncomfortable. The closer I get to Devan, the more I see how tired and stressed he is, but he still manages a big smile.

A few nurses are still mingling around the room when I get in. Rain lightly patters against the window, this July has been uncommonly cool. A sink and other cabinets line one side if the wall and another door leads to the bathroom. Ashley is laying in the hospital bed in the center of the small room.

She has dark bags under her eyes, and her usually perfect hair is matted with sweat. She's slightly pale, but smiles when she sees me walk in the room. In her hands is a small wrapped up bundle. "Hey Mo," she says.

I walk towards the side of the bed. "How you feeling?" I ask.

"Like complete crap," she doesn't even try to laugh. I sit down on the chair beside the bed, "Isn't he beautiful?" She croaks.

Tyler's face is all scrunched up and he's slightly pink, but for being a newborn, he's cute. He has very little dark hair on his head. "He is," I say, lost for words.

Devan walks to the other side, looking at both Ashley and Tyler in awe. "I just wanted you to see him, and to finally say thank you."

"For what?" I ask.

"For being there. You made me believe I could do this," she pauses. "When I realized that I could be pregnant, I- I was thinking about just ending it. Living with this was to much, I was at my edge. I'm almost to ashamed to say this, but I actually thought about killing myself," Her voice strains and she struggles to continue. My vision becomes blurry with tears, remembering that day in November. It's feels like years ago. "You reminded me I still had people who cared for me. there was something to live for, to have hope. Now look where we are." She looks at me, her dark eyes wide and watery, "Tyler and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

I didn't know any of this. It never occurred to me, I always thought she was in complete control of herself. I start to cry, it's amazing how words can help someone so much. "You're welcome," I say weakly. "I'd hug you but," I motion to her and the baby, "you know."

She nods. "I wasn't kidding when I said you'd be a great Mom. Don't be surprised if- no when, I need your help."

"I'll be open anytime." I don't argue. I'm still shocked by how much I helped her. Plus I think I'm already in love with Tyler. He's so small and innocent.

"Want to hold him?" She asks me.

I nod before washing me hands. Ashley gently hands me Tyler. I've never really held a baby before. I was to young to hold Caleb and all my cousins are older than me.

It surprises me how small they really are. Even though Tyler isn't mine, I feel like I owe it to him to do everything I can to protect him. I silently promise to never let anything hurt him.