Forgetting Love

12

"You look beautiful," Isabel says sadly as she looks me over. "I just wish things could be different. I'm sorry you have to do this."

I take a deep breath and look at my reflection. My hair is in perfect curls that rest on my shoulders. A small hairband is on top holding the small veil that isn't long enough to cover my face. My make up is very minimal; only a light layer of mascara and eye shadow, and a shiny gloss on my lips. I look natural and even younger than I usually do. My eyes look empty, just as before...

It's my second wedding day, and I'm only 18. I would've never guessed my life would be like this.

"It's ok," I answer as I look down in regret. "We all have to make sacrifices."

Everything is so much simpler than last time. My make up, my hair, even my dress is. It's a simple strapless dress that reaches about mid-thigh. In the chest area, it hugs my body, but once it gets to my hips it loosens up and feels airy. It's beautiful in an elegant way, but I hate it.

It's far to cold to wear a dress like this. I'm already getting shivers and goosebumps which only makes my tan skin look pale and blend in with the white of my dress. I sigh as I fight the tears back. I already promised myself I wouldn't cry.

I'm almost free. I should be happy. All I have to do is get through this. "I admire you," she says. I look at her with glassy eyes. "I would've never had the courage to do this. I never even had the strength to try to escape. I've always been so scared and weak, but you just keep fighting. You are different from any girl I've ever met."

Different. Why do I have to be so different? That's what got me here in the first place. I don't get what is so special about me either. I just do what I have to do to get what I want. I've met other people just like me, but they aren't trapped on some boat.

Maybe I have really bad luck.

I shrug, "I just go after what I want. There is nothing unique about it." I dry my tears. I need to be strong. "Let's just get this over with."

"I didn't mean to upset you," she says seeing straight through my act. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You are already doing so much for me. That's all I can ask for. I just want to get this done before I start crying," my voice cracks, and before I know it, Isabel is hugging me. It's a comforting hug that only a friend can provide.

"Just remember, you'll be home in about 24 hours," she says through the hug.

My heart swells at the thought: Home. Or at least what's left of it. I'll still have all my family, but it will never be the same. There is always going to be something missing, and there is nothing I can do to get it back.

Home is where the heart is, but I'm not exactly sure that where that's at. I do know that it is not here.

"Thank you for being here for me. Other than Ashley, you are the only other girl I've ever been friends with. I don't know where I'd be without you."

She pulls out of the hug and looks me in the eye. "For the longest time, I didn't have any friends. I had almost forgotten what friendship is. I'm so happy that you gave me a chance. I know when we first met we didn't exactly see eye to eye. You're the person I needed to give my life actual purpose again."

I nod and blink away my watery eyes. "Let's get going before I ruin my make up," I laugh lightly.

"Yes," she says. "I'll go tell them you're ready." She starts walking out, but stops short and turns to face me again. She rests her hand on my shoulder and gently squeezes, "Be strong." She smiles softly, then walks out the door.