Walk The Earth: Doctor Who/Studio C [Book 2]

Not Who You Were

Not Who You Were

I can't go on living this way / But I can't go back the way I came / Chained to this fear that I will never find a way to heal my soul / And I will wander till the end of time / Half alive without you. -Evanescence, 'My Heart Is Broken'

A/N: Fair warning, this one does get a bit steamy, but it's for plot purposes. Also, some dialogue in these last few chapters is pulled from LotTL, but since there's so much in between they're not marked as Last of the Time Lords Part X.

A few more days passed in quiet solemnity. A week and a half had gone by since the Year had reversed, and the TARDIS looked far better than it had ten days ago. Several of her core rooms had come back, including the infirmary, which meant Mallory had quite happily ditched the purple cast on her arm.

She was becoming a little less reserved and a little freer to laugh with every day that took her a little further from the Year. At least, with everyone but Matt. He couldn't help but notice she still held herself away from him in a way she never had before. Even in the years they'd pined after each other, both too afraid to make the first move, she had never been quite like this.

As much as he knew in his head that she needed time—he had died in her arms, after all—he couldn't help wishing for something. A touch, a caress, a kiss—some indication this wasn't going to crash and burn all too soon.

He couldn't chase the thoughts away. The dreams of what he had assumed must have been the Year had disappeared without a trace, yet there were a dozen new worries that cropped up in their place to keep him from slumber.

With the TARDIS on the mend, they likely wouldn't be staying at Wester Drumlins much longer. Then what? Matt couldn't imagine Mallory would so easily drop their life here again to go with the Doctor. Back to Utah? The lives they once lead with ease while their universe was still so phenomenally tiny?

Those who had survived the Year were all hurting, and that much was clear. He just wished that Mallory would let him in long enough to help.

Though he had his back to the door, he heard it creak open, as well as the soft footsteps that followed. He froze, not daring to move and knowing that out of everyone in the house, it could only be Mallory.

The bed dipped a fraction, alerting him that she'd settled beside him, and after a few breathless moments he finally turned his head.

She jumped at the movement, managing to knock one bare foot into his back with enough force to hurt for a moment. "Gosh, Matt, I thought you were asleep," she managed, a little breathlessly.

"'Fraid not," he replied, rolling to his back so he didn't have to turn his head so much to see her. "Were you trying to sneak up on me or something?"

"No," she said quickly, her tone defensive.

"I'm joking, Mal." Matt glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand, before continuing, "So how can I help you at... 2:27 in the morning?"

It was too dark to see if she blushed, but he wouldn't be surprised if she did. "I'm sorry... I didn't even look at the time... I'll go."

"Never asked you to leave," he said before she could even set her feet back on the floor.

Mallory glanced back, plainly questioning.

"Why are you here?" he asked softly.

"I..." She hesitated, before blurting, "Honestly, I'm checking to make sure you're still here."