What Comes After

My everything

Cool air hit my face as i rolled down windows to my car, sweat dripping down my neck.  It was a bad time of the year to not have air conditioning,  expecially in Arizona. My phone vibrated in my back pocket. After struggling to remove it from underneath me,  a victorious aha escaped my mouth.  Unlocking  it, I saw the voice mail icon at the top of the screen. 

Listen kyle,. I knew the voice instantly. But then again who wouldn't know the voice of their best friend. The only problem was Emma didn't sound right. Her voice broke and was hard to hear,  like she'd been crying for hours.  I just want you to know that I love you and I'm so incredibly sorry that I can't be there for you.  And with that the message ended. Not really understanding what it meant I brushed it off. We had planned for me to come over after school, so why couldn't she be there for me? I wasn't very far away,  I'd just ask her when I saw her. 

Pulling in the drive way I  threw my phone into the passenger seat, it wasn't like I was going it need it. Gravel crunched beneath my feet as i cut across the yard. Briefly looking down at the stairs of the porch caused a small smile to pull at my mouth.  Right there in the old wooden steps was the ugliest drawings i'd ever done.  They were truly horrible. The porch whined as I continued to walk acrossed it.  Picking up the iron knocker on the door I let it fall back into place. 

It didn't take long before Mrs. Michaels opened the door. Her bright smile felt familiar. She was always so helpful and welcoming when ever I  was over. "Come on in dear,"she said cheerfully as she stepped aside. Walking inside she shut the door behind us. "She's up in the room like always, but if you wait down here with me for a bit i'll make you guys some snacks. "
"That would be lovely," I replied as I  followed her into the kitchen. 
"How's school? "
"Same as always. Drowning in homework." I laughed as I took a seat at the counter.
"It'll pay off in the long end. Your hard work won't go unnoticed." Smiling at her as she continued to make sandwiches for them, I  couldn't help but laugh at how sweet she always was.
"Sure is a pain now though." She chuckled lightly as she continued her task. "It'll be a nice change of pace when school ends in a couple of months."
"True, but then you're off to college. Have you decided if you're gonna go to the U of A like your dad wants?"
"I know it'll make him happy if I go and play football for them but I don't know if I really want to do that. "
Glancing up at me she smiled slightly,  "Don't do something to make him happy.  Do it for you. "
 
Peaceful silence filled the room. Mrs. Michaels was just finishing off the sandwiches. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.  Something didn't feel right. I opened my mouth to ask if she felt something weird to.  A single gunshot rang through out the house. Time seemed to have slowed down as I looked at Mrs. Michaels and then to the stairs. 

Jumping off the chair I ran has fast as I could.  My legs burned as I took the stairs to at a time.  Throwing myself against the door, turning the handle at the same time,  I tried to open it.  It wouldn't move.  Pain followed through my shoulder as I rammed into the door again,  breaking the lock.

I couldn't breath as I simply stood in the door staring at what was in front of me.  There in the middle of the floor layed my Emma. Her blood pooled on the carpet around her. Stumbling into the room,  I fell onto my knees besides her. 

She looked so small like this, nothing like the strong willed girl I grew up with.  The need to protect her causing me to pick her up and cradle her in my arms. 

Unbelievable pain ripped through me. What was I going to do? She was my everything. My best friend. I can't remember I time when I wasn't with her or didn't talk to her.  I loved her, not like a friend. I truly loved her and she was gone.

My chest tightened. I couldn't breath. Tears started to fall down my face. I  couldn't not have her in my life.

Faintly I could hear the sound of her mom screaming, but it sounded so far away. The only thing that seemed close was her. The way she layed in my arms.  I can feel her blood on my clothes and it all becomes to much.

The gun lays on the floor and I can't help but wonder what was so awful that this was her only way out.  I know she had bad things happen to her but she always seemed so happy and full of life. But now, it's hard to even remember the way she smiled. Those memories just dissapeared. Now all I can see is her like this. Cradled in my arms, blood soaking both of our clothes. This isn't the way I want to see her, but it's all I see.

Screams and sobs leave me. Tears run down my face. It feels like I'm breaking. Like my heart is shattering into peices.

I know it is. There's no way I can't be complete with out her. She's my everything.